December 24, 2011

Enemies in Training

Just a reminder we can take a breather on Boxing Day. Next run is next year and is the annual Wet T-Shirt run on January 2 from Crow's Palace in the Stone. No bra needed for this run, just bring your biggest water guns as the tourists will be armed to the teeth according to the irrelevant authorities. Private Investigators have come up with this picture of enemy troops in training.

December 22, 2011

Seriously Silly Season


A huge turnout at Forth. As 35 odd Hashers flooded the township of Forth the 12 residents locked them selves up as we paraded up and down their Shopping Zone (according to the road sign only). Dyke was in his Naughty Santa gear happily showing off his red undies to anyone who'd care to look in that direction, and Pioneer, Tinsel and Fanny May (wearing the most adorned Hub ever seen in Hashtory) were happy to show theirs to anyone who'd care to ask. A drink stop or two enhanced the viewing.

We walked along the river to Harvest Moon HQ and visited the adjoining graveyard where inappropriate acts were performed above the watchful eye of Sir Braddon who had been resting in peace for the past 107 years.

Anyways, everyone had brought ample food and everyone drank ample of the supplied fluids. Webflash GoneAgain was testing out his new whizzbang gadget under Ringo's supervision. A jolly time was had by all.

Next run is next year and is the annual Wet T-Shirt run on January 2 from Crow's Palace in the Stone. No bra needed for this run, just bring your biggest water guns as the tourists will be armed to the teeth according to the irrelevant authorities.


Ho ho ho..


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December 17, 2011

Bridge over Troubled Water

Just some pics from the Dint's  Myrtle Hole run last monday.

Fanny May and Rodent on the other side of the lake.


The Bridge that was no more...

Ho Ho Ho!
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December 16, 2011

Scaring the Platipii

Guess what, Bald Eagle is the best looking Hasher in this line-up!


Back to business... Dint's run at Shales Road, that is from the END of the road, started with a long false trail, followed by a washed away bridge. As the pack was split by a lake, both sides on flour, the On-Ons echoed over the lake and through the virginal forest. Platipii were seen swimming away. The runners had taken off up the hill, and three Wannabee runners tred softly behind as the walkers simply followed the gravel road home.

The Three Wannabees arrived 20 minutes after the rest of the pack, as they simply forgot to run on the runners trail. Some of the less devoted Hashers took on Mexican duties instead of running and gave the Coronas a good run for their money.   Tucker and Raffle was great, beer was plentiful.

Next run is the Devonport Hash Christmas Run!


  • Burnie Hash's infamous Christmas R*n on Sunday December 18th leaves from The Makers Workshop car park at 5pm, with the On On at Urang and Phay Wray's house. Dress in your best Christmas attire, bring a plate of festive food to share and a wrapped gift value approx. $8, so you can sit on Santa Phay's lap and jingle her bells. Bring extra drinks for a big night out.
  • Next Devonport Hash on Monday 19th, 6.30pm starting from the picnic shelter at the Forth football ground. Bring food and gifts...
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December 9, 2011

Up & Cumming from Burnie Trash



  • LoonRhasH combined with Burnie Hash is having a pseudo-festive stroll commencing Sunday December 11th at 5.30pm from the old cemetery at Penguin. On On will be at the Thai restaurant in Arnold Street, and in deference to this, it has been decreed that everyone should wear a tie.
  • Monday's Devonport R*n Dec 12th 6.30pm is being set by Dint from Myrtle Hole along Shale Road out of Latrobe close to the Platypus viewing area.
  • Burnie Hash's infamous Christmas R*n on Sunday December 18th leaves from The Makers Workshop car park at 5pm, with the On On at Urang and Phay Wray's house. Dress in your best Christmas attire, bring a plate of festive food to share and a wrapped gift value approx. $8, so you can sit on Santa Phay's lap and jingle her bells. Bring extra drinks for a big night out.
  • Devonport Hash will be doing a similar seasonal gig on Monday 19th, 6.30pm starting from the picnic shelter at the Forth football ground. Bring food and gifts...
PS

Tinsel was accosted by this impostor riding through Latrobe CBD today. Turns out it was Killer, disguised as an old feller, trying to pick up some Hasherettes...
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December 8, 2011

Killer's Hill




Killer's runs always are pretty popular. No one ever knows exactly what it is about Killer's place, it certainly isn't the running around Forth. We went up one hill, down the same way, up the next hill and down the same way. Dini kept her runkeeper on for another hour to get some more distance, and so she tallied up 4.8 kilometers for our up-and-downhill effort.



LB made sure we all got really well fed, which reminded us why we love Killer's runs so much. It isn't just the rustique historic Grange Surrounds. Coffee surprised us as the mega coffee machine has been retired. Yes guys, it was still present but the complex machinery that sends out jets of steams, vibrates the house, rattles the teeth, and breathes black fire with its rotary pump, heat exchanger and brass piped "sex" part of the coffee industry. It was replaced by a humble looking, no fuss no mess, but very effective little Nespresso machine (check Aldi's imitation if you happen to go to the mainland).

Next run set by Dint from Myrtle Hole along Shale Road out of Latrobe close to the Platypus viewing area.

Now for the BIG NEWS :


Xmas Run - 19th December @ Forth football ground @ 6.30pm.
  • Dress: 'Xmas', 
  • Bring food to share, 
  • Bring wrapped gift for about $8 and 
  • Grog supplied.
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December 1, 2011

Egyptian Style AGPU


Spot the Burnie infiltrators vying for positions!


FannyMay and GoneAgain hosted the Wicked themed AGPU. As we know from various recent elections, it is fraught with danger. The undemocratic Hash style of 'election' would have caused security concerns and subsequent travel advisory updates for travelers had it been made public.  All DHASH members arrived at the black ballooned and spider infested secret voting location in James Street. No voting cards or boxes were present. All  Hashers were donning their most striking Wicked outfits, obviously trying to avoid being chosen for positions in the Hash Mismanagement Team.

The night started with a wicked run set by GoneAgain, without any Rambo/Whimp junctions, forcing the most crippled of cripples to go the full distance to find the Piss Stop. Not all bodies made their way to the back of GoneAgain's car,  which was strategically parked in the shadows of the Gateway Hotel and the BWS Bottle-shop. Unrestrained Hashers could (and did) abuse the gamblers using the back-entrance of the hotel, where gamblers leave babies unattended in cars and drag gagged teenagers through the door. Long Island Iced tea and Port was on offer from the Lancer. Laced Wicked lolly-pops failed to do their advertised job of permanently staining tongues, but other than that the run went well.

Actual runners made it to the OnOn to enjoy the spoils of Fanny May's kitchen battles.  Out came the Flamin Balls with Hot Dick nibbles. Almost all were devoured before the walkers arrived 10 minutes later. Deviled Sausages followed, with baked Vulture Legs, Spidered Cold Sores (with mayonnaise instead of Coleslaw sauce) and Dragon Spit Trifle for desert.

Elections were a shambles. Called off the last minute due to the inability of the various factions to agree on abominations. Rebels among us immediately prepared for battle, vowing to overthrow the ruling extremists minority mismanagement, and take over the proceedings. Self elected clan leader Flasher in  an unusual moment of decisiveness  decided, not without a hint of bias, who was to do what, and among many cheers the positions were most unfairly adjudicated between the non-believers. All results are not final, and nothing will appear in print till the powers that be have decided on the final results. Results may change without notice.

In  any case no casualties were reported on the scene of the elections, but many small fires were put out throughout the night.

Devonport Hash lives on to run again! Next week's run will be from Killers place in Forth.

November 24, 2011

Patrolling the Don with Dyke


Ready to be WICKED next week...

Hare Dyke still has altitude sickness it seems. Not only did he not have Parmesan cheese at the gourmet OnOn, he also didn’t give us a contiguous trail to run. This of course may or may not have anything to do with the down-down given to Crow for purposely coverig up flour trail in the Don Woods.

The sizeable pack made the Don Woods seemingly insecure to the odd members of the public who saw us patrolling randomly in small groups going in various direction. We reassembled dazed and confused back at the Pool where we had started. Our monk had kept the drizzle at bay, and so still dry we jumped into our vehicles and joined the procession to Dykes place.

Wonderful prizes were hidden in Flasher’s bag, but none came out. Some poor man’s porn with underage images was flogged off in exchange for bits of coloured paper with numbers. It wasn’t even rigged. This can only mean one thing: Flasher is saving himself for the WICKED Annual General Pissup at Fanny May’s house at 10 James Street, Devonport. Dress WICKEDLY, and we will traverse Devonport in style. Remember it is mostly daylight now, so the peeping public may catch a glimpse, so make it extra bizarre, ahum, extra WICKED!

November 17, 2011

Birthday Part-ay

 

A fine night saw a decent sized pack set off into the golden dusk. Rather than follow trail they were directed by notes handed out by Trailmaster Dyke. Himself recently returned from Nepal and now an altitude junkie, it was inevitable that we should meet with Dyke for our piss stop on the highest point above Ulverstone at the end of Upper Maud Street. Crab was excited to see a van there, assuming it would be serving free soup. Crow thought it might be the van which comes to pick him up when his bike breaks down. Highbeam was hoping for icecream cones and dagwoods, while Dini was already dreaming of a tasty espresso. But the van had none of these services to offer. It contained birthday boy Killer looking younger than ever, and the boot was stocked with gourmet treats and proper popping fizz i.e. more than $4.95 a dozen, Flash...
Next stop was Cheese's house in Amherst Street, and it was Thrust who went for the altitude this time, checking out Cheese's new glassed-in dick. Very fetching. Last stop was the waterfront, and the walkers were poured into the van for the return trip home.
After a meal of footlongs, Pioneer trounced the sinners with a drink and a good scolding. Somewhere along the way she was pantsed and given the hub, but the graphic details have been obliterated from the scribe's mind to protect the innocent. Birthday cake for Killer on half a century, and Dini for a couple more. Rigged raffle redistributed some treasures, and returned Cheese's ugly little garden ornament to its rightful place in obscurity.
Next week's r*n Monday November 21st at 6.30pm is from the Devonport Swimming Pool, and afterwards at Dyke's place, 2/64 Tugrah Road, Devonport.
On! On!
Dini
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November 8, 2011

Pubic Holiday

 
Maggie has the jump on public holiday hashes for some obscure historic reason; maybe retired people aren't allowed to cook BBQ sausauges on a working day. Judging from that wicked smile, Maggie knew precisely what was in the sausage that Eagle was about to consume. Luckily Eagle has a cast iron constitution (no reflection of course on Nest's cooking) and he lived long enough to win nothing in the raffle, which is always a bonus and good for one's health.
There were gnats biting, and they made Cheese grumpy as he didn't have any repellant. He made some excuse about needing to go home to supervise his daughter but we all know it's the other way around. Pioneer rightly refused to let him get away with it and made hime sit in the corner until she'd finished her ante-penultimate lippery. Maggie's cat supervised proceedings from the top of a tree, the epitomal snapping pussy as Crab's dog barked threateningly below, a couple of metres short of effecting any real menace.
A very pleasant jaunt around the scenic territory of Turners Beach and the very best in traditional hash tucker and sips.
Next week's run MOnday November 14th is from Killer's place, 10 William Street Forth. Wear party clothes.
Don't forget the combined LoonR Hash and Global Harriettes R*n from Hiscutt Park Penguin this Friday Nov 11th, 6.30pm.
On! On! Dini
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STOP PRESS: Hi everyone, Please note the following change of venue. Nominated hare Killer has been double booked as he is such a popular guy :) This week's Devonport R*n Monday Nov 14th at 6.30 is now being set by Flasher from 118 Upper Maud Street Ulverstone. You can still wear party clothes if you like... it's still someone's birthday. On! On! Dini

October 27, 2011

Wicked AGPU Cummin Up


HighBeam and Mullet set an exemplary and fully catered Hash from their lovely street in Hawley Beach. The run wound its way along the shore-front, and some of us took the beach route home. Runners and walkers all finished at about the same time and cheese and nibbles were awaiting us (take note Pizza guys!), followed by cold beer and ample hand plucked chicken with 1.1 fresh bread roll each. Some greedy bastards ate 5 rolls, so the host missed out on the scrumptious rolls and had to resort to an alternate source of bread - not happy Jan!

Almost 19 y/o virgin DipTits was named and promptly won an appropriate 4 hours of 50+ porn. She assumed 50+ episodes, or maybe 50+ scenes, but she'll surely look at us different next time and really some of us actually are 50+ and (may) have a remarkable resemblance to persons depicted in the video. She may even accuse her mum, HighBeam, of being 50+ after recognising some of the athletic antics from the 4hr flick.



In any case, a WICKED AGPU is coming up on 28 November. With a theme like WICKED we better get into the dollar shop now for Halloween and find something WICKED to wear. Wicked could be anything, from Austin Powers kind of wicked to Wicked the Musical; you define it you wear it. 

Next Run from Hiscutt Park, Penguin! OnOn...

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October 24, 2011

Tonight's Run at end of Taroona St

STOP PRESS

High Beam alerted us to the fact the run is held from the BBQ area at the end of Taroona Street, Hawley Beach. If it rains we'll be at 15 Taroona st.

OnOn!


October 23, 2011

Burnie Ten, the Greatest Slow for some

OK OK, nothing to do with Devonport Hash, hardly any of us were there... But here are the two momentous shots. Dini with one of her fabulous cakes:



GoneAgain pictured below, casually striding across the finish line of the Burnie Ten in a course record time of 22:20minutes. Not a bad effort for 10kms, especially considering this was before even the first runners made it back, and the press wasn't even there to take note. As long as we all know that Devonport Hash has a humble and non-competitive hasher with (very well) hidden talents.


Remember next r*n at 6.30pm Monday 24th October set by High Beam and Mullet from 23 Taroona Street, Hawley Beach.


OnOn----
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October 20, 2011

Stop press - pancakes

Fanny May is offering up her house for the on-on after the Saturday (2-4PM) adopt-a-highway scavenge and is threatening to make pancakes even on the side of the road if we refuse to go to her place. Just thought I'd warn Hashers intending to come that if you don't like meat/vege burgers and pancakes that you'd be up against Fanny May....

Awkward Orchids

 

Well, so much for Tracka's anticipated gentle stroll around the orchid reserve... the little pack was wantonly cast into a wasteland of ankle-snapping ditches, razor-edged tree stumps and soft tussocks which gave way to knee deep mud when trodden on. After this outburst of bastardry, trail returned to the gravel road and, for the wa*kers, followed a slurry of forestry tracks home. The r*nners dove off across the railway line into the never never, eventually returning none the worse for wear. A Bit of This and Dini enjoyed a stroll through the reserve whilst they waited for the r*nners, but there didn't seem to be too may orchids in flower. On back to Bells Parade for a lacadaisical circle 'cos no one could really be fecked. Rigged raffle had prizes enough for sixty, but not everyone won something. (lucky b*ggers) Tinsel won an out of the date condom which she thought was edible if only she could get the packet open. Flasher took the hub home again to remind him to give it to Mabel.
Next week's r*n 6.30pm Monday 24th October is being set by High Beam and Mullet from 23 Taroona Street, Hawley Beach.
On On
Dini
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Roadkill and Raffle Collection



Our Adopt-a-Highway date is 1:30PM (for 2PM start) this Saturday (22 October) everyone!!

We need you this Saturday at the Latrobe Caltex Service station on the highway  for a couple of hours. Rod from Volunteers Australia will be there with the AdoptaHighway van and he will equip us with the necessary safety equipment. Just bring a bottle of water, good shoes and a hat! Anything we find that may be suitable for the rigged raffle has to be passed on to Flasher, and roadkill goes to first finders.

Bitofthis and GoneAgain will bring the Barbie to help us recover with a snag and a refreshing ale after the grueling two hour event. There will also be an opportunity to grill any roadkill you may have found.



GoneAgain---

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October 11, 2011

Home by a Nose

 
Dint had a very small field of Hashers gallop around the racecourse on a dead track made of old mouldy minced up carpet and sodden brillo pads. Not happy with this level of torture he then sent us up the steep muddy tracks of Kelcey Tier in search of the Lizard. He then appeared on trail in a turd-coloured car so badly designed that there was no room in the boot to carry booze for a piss stop! Back at the On On he lit a fire so toxic we could not get near it for fear of birth defects, and when it burned down far enough to get close, he made it rain. It's a good thing Koff fed and entertained us so beautifully, or the night could have been a complete loss!
Next week's run Monday 17th at 6.30pm is being set by Black Tracka from Henry Somerset Reserve, with the On On back at Bells Parade, Latrobe.
And don't forget LoonRhasH this Wednesday 12th, 6.30ish at the Edgewater, East Devonport.
On On
Dini
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October 6, 2011

Dell Lucky

 

Bald Eagle set us a tortuous trail tiptoe-ing through the ti-tree tracks of Don Reserve. With twilight plummeting to a conclusion, we arrived back at Dell Luck to find a plethora of pizzas awaiting us, courtesy of culinary giant Mabel. After a very Cheesy circle and a very Flashy raffle it got dark and we all p*ssed off.
Next week's r*n is being set by Equestrian Entrepreneur Dint from the Spreyton Racecourse, Durkins Road, Spreyton. Monday October 10th, 6.30 pm.
And don't forget LoonRhasH at the Edgewater, East Devonport on Wednesday October 12th, 6.30ish pm.

On On Dini
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September 27, 2011

Medal-winning Boredom

 

Cheese set us a run through the Ulverstone Streets with little floury aitches, just so we would not confuse them with last week's TdP trail. This worked nicely for everyone except Flasher, who could not find any trail, old or new. After waiting out in the cold for a good 20 minutes in the pathetic hope someone would care enough to come looking for him, he gave in and legged it home. Meanwhile the pack had violated Cheese's fridge and were warm and toasty in front of the fire. Footy franks and pies set the classy tone of the evening's entertainment, a night of squinting at an extremely analogue ancient TV perched above the toilet door. The object? To try and spot a bit of decent cleavage among a sea of neanderthal Bronlow Medal contestants. At Round 12 the boredom reached excruciat, and about half the pack deserted. The stayers endured it to the bitter end, establishing that none of them had won the sweep. Still there was beer and chocolate cake so it wasn't all bad.
Next week Bald Eagle will kick off the first run of the summer, Monday October 3rd, 6.30 pm, starting from Dell Luck Reserve at Don.
On On
Dini
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September 19, 2011

Tour de Pisse

Photos from the Tour de Pisse

Lantern's Light Tonight

 How do Hashers stay warm on a damp Ulverstone afternoon? Well, if you are Guardsvan, you go and stand in the oven. If you are Flasher, the sugar fix from the lolly bowl makes a great second best.
If you missed this weekend's Tour de Pisse, you can come along and see some of the same faces and the same bodies wearing those sexy yellow shirts tonight at Lantern's place. Monday September 19th, 6.30pm, Stony Rise Road Devonport. Odd sox, $10, torch, raffle money for a chance to win yellow coloured leftovers and a slightly used black microphone.
On On Dini
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September 8, 2011

Feels Gooood


It was perhaps a first for the Northwest, a wheelchair friendly run! Accordingly we had a good turnout. Glad I wasn't dragging a wheelchair with me, as the run sure had its ups and downs. The Spring Gods took pitty and furnished us with a mild moonlit night, which we all enjoyed in T-shirts - first one this season!  GoneAgain thought he'd show off he still has what it takes, thinking that surely he could go where Feels on Wheels could go. He handed Fanny May's furball to Pioneer, bravely  slipped into his Vibram barefoot runners and valiantly coughed off behind the runners. On top of the final ascent of the run, where the HHH was, GoneAgain almost collapsed on the doorstep of 'JR', the second most competent ambulance officer of the Northwest (and incidentally the Senior Vice-President of the HACSU Management Committee) whose house just coincidentally happened to be in front of the HHH.

Feels on Wheels had arranged his garage into a virtual Hash Theatre with ample seating for all, complete with a spare wheelchair for GoneAgain who really could've used oxygen and a new set of lungs in preference to wheels. The tucker on offer was respectable and the deserts were exemplary. The rigged raffle was perfectly rigged (see Thrust wearing her new bra on her face) and no-one caught the cunning Flash out on the shameless rigging of Asian raffle prizes.  This may have had something to do with the inebriating effect of  the liberal adjudication of down-downs sternly, and unfairly, handed out by our Lip Pioneer prior to Flasher's big event.

Enough of that. Next run is a combined Lunar Hash run; 630pm (12 Sept 2011) at Molly's in Devonport.


6.72 kilometers of flour laid in grueling suburbia... 
Details [here].

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September 2, 2011

Feel the Pain

Thrust was caught on candid camera recently looking very competitive
in the Sydney City to Surf. She is back amongst the land of the living
and may grace us with her pressence at Feels on Wheel's place next
monday 5 September - 11 Riverside Avenue at the Stone.
Last week's Pizza Fest at Bald Eagle's was a bit of a reunion, as all
the overseas travellers made it back in one piece - except Thrust who
was running late... (dejavu?).

Run? Yep, there was one. Yep wasn'nt there despite that last
statement). Walk? Yep (who? No, Who wasn't there either), we walked a
long time. Most walkers hashed home early, only the true believers
made it all the way to the HHH at Koff's place. Onya Trakka, GoneAgain
and Ringo. Next time you better run.

Maybe next week we will have a Where Are They Now session on dHash and
shame previous Hashers out of their hiding places for summer!
Suggestions of roque runaways gone AWOL? Dob in your mate, email
awol@dhash.com with name/details and other dirt.

August 26, 2011

Crowing About the Stone


The motley crew assembled inside the shady Oz Rock cafe, HQ de la Crow. A threatening sky did not deter the brave hashers to head into the dusky hood of the Stone, it was perhaps with some mild enthusiasm that they hit the trail. Runners headed West as the walkers obediently followed directions to the East. The walkers hit the Indian arrow within 100 yards and proceeded on instinct. Runners ran off into the dark as walkers continued in the runners invisible footsteps.

Anticipating a Rambo and Whimps junction the walkers continued with slowly dissipating enthusiasm. What remained of their initial enthusiasm was thwarted by the look of an ominous hill on trail.All but the toughest turned around here; Tracka, GoneAgain and Ringo forged uphill with an indecisive Mable trailing behind. It was with great relief they stumbled upon the HHH before the true ascent took affect. GA armed with iPhone directions pointing to the most direct walking route to the buckets was overruled by Mable who cunningly led us back to the Oz Rock Inn with his built-in primate talent.

Raffle and Tucker were gratefully accepted, alcohol consumed, down downs swallowed with pride and we shall all meet again at BaldEagles abode next Monday night at 630pm 29 August 2011AD25 Torquay Road, East Devonport.


Oh, and this weekend's Adopt-a-highway boozup is postponed :(

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August 25, 2011

Adopt-a-Highway Cancelled this weekend!

There is a 95% chance of rain next Saturday, the day we are scheduled to clean our bit of highway. Tentative next date is same time but on Saturday 29 October 2011. Keep this day free!

August 22, 2011

Hash Up and Cummings 2011

(click on posters to see full size!)

Yes, you are invited to Dyke's part! RSVP now!
  • 2pm on Saturday 27th of AugustHash Cleanup: Come to our stretch of highway at the Wattle Hill Caltex Service Station for the 2011 Adopt-a-Highway clean up. 
  • August 22nd, Monday 6.30pm— r*n set by Crow from the Oz Rock Inn, Beach Road Ulverstone. 
  • September 10th, 7pm - Dyke's Party at Oz Rock!
  • September 12th, Monday 6.30pm— LoonRhasH combined with Devonport H3 @ Molly Malone’s, Devonport.
  • September 17th, Saturday — Devonport Hash’s le Tour de Pisse - see poster below
  • October 15-16th— Burnie Hash’s Burnie Ten weekend, roll on up for the greatest slow on earth. The circus is in town….Cirque du Foleil… see flyer below. Greeat r*, hot pool, usual venue, 448 West Mooreville Road, Burnie. Campers and campervans welcome as always. Send in the Clowns...
  • October 29-30th—H5 Oktoberfest @ Bruny Island - see flyer below...
  • November 11th—combined Global Harriettes Day and LoonRhasH
  • November 12th, 6pm—The Hash Spring Ball, starts from the Shoreline Hotel, Howrah. Cost $60, more details to follow soon….
  • December 11th—Sunday LoonRhasH combined with Burnie HHH
  • December 18th—Burnie Hash Christmas R*n
  • December 19th—Devonport Hash Christmas R*n
  • Interhash 2012 May 22-27th, Borobudur, Jogjakarta, Indonesia!!! Rego Price increase end of August !!!
  • Aussie Nash Hash Brisbane, May 4-6th, 2013 
  • Interhash July 2014 Brussels, Belgium - I’ve pledged! Think about it… Seriously!


Tour de Pisse- RSVP to flasher@dhash.com



Register for Cirque du Poleil now: http://bit.ly/burnie10



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