December 1, 2011

Egyptian Style AGPU

Spot the Burnie infiltrators vying for positions!

FannyMay and GoneAgain hosted the Wicked themed AGPU. As we know from various recent elections, it is fraught with danger. The undemocratic Hash style of 'election' would have caused security concerns and subsequent travel advisory updates for travelers had it been made public.  All DHASH members arrived at the black ballooned and spider infested secret voting location in James Street. No voting cards or boxes were present. All  Hashers were donning their most striking Wicked outfits, obviously trying to avoid being chosen for positions in the Hash Mismanagement Team.

The night started with a wicked run set by GoneAgain, without any Rambo/Whimp junctions, forcing the most crippled of cripples to go the full distance to find the Piss Stop. Not all bodies made their way to the back of GoneAgain's car,  which was strategically parked in the shadows of the Gateway Hotel and the BWS Bottle-shop. Unrestrained Hashers could (and did) abuse the gamblers using the back-entrance of the hotel, where gamblers leave babies unattended in cars and drag gagged teenagers through the door. Long Island Iced tea and Port was on offer from the Lancer. Laced Wicked lolly-pops failed to do their advertised job of permanently staining tongues, but other than that the run went well.

Actual runners made it to the OnOn to enjoy the spoils of Fanny May's kitchen battles.  Out came the Flamin Balls with Hot Dick nibbles. Almost all were devoured before the walkers arrived 10 minutes later. Deviled Sausages followed, with baked Vulture Legs, Spidered Cold Sores (with mayonnaise instead of Coleslaw sauce) and Dragon Spit Trifle for desert.

Elections were a shambles. Called off the last minute due to the inability of the various factions to agree on abominations. Rebels among us immediately prepared for battle, vowing to overthrow the ruling extremists minority mismanagement, and take over the proceedings. Self elected clan leader Flasher in  an unusual moment of decisiveness  decided, not without a hint of bias, who was to do what, and among many cheers the positions were most unfairly adjudicated between the non-believers. All results are not final, and nothing will appear in print till the powers that be have decided on the final results. Results may change without notice.

In  any case no casualties were reported on the scene of the elections, but many small fires were put out throughout the night.

Devonport Hash lives on to run again! Next week's run will be from Killers place in Forth.

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