Bastard's Restaurant Guide

Bastard

The root of all problems

THE MALE BRAIN


Bastard---

Pioneer's Fern Run

2 February Run at Ferndene Forest Reserve
Follow Ironcliffe Rd in Penguin till you get to the picnic area.

We will dally up along the stream through beautiful shady manferns and tall Eucalypt forest, through an historic mining area and maybe even see Thorsby’s Tunnel. Ferndene is the only reserve in Tasmania where the Blechnum cartilagineum fern grows. It is an extremely rare fern species and is protected.

OnOn at Pioneers abode despite the well-equipped picnic area at Ferndene. Pioneer might even prepare a refreshing iced Blechnum tea made from fresh ferns!

Maggie saves Australia Day at the Eleventh Hour

A last minute dash to put a run together saw a pack of 20 or so leave from Maggie and HJ’s loveshack. Walkers did a gentle loop past the strawberry farm and home. The macho big boy runners chased the train, then waded the raging river to get back to the bucket. Foghorn commanded respect in the circle, ensuring that the limited supplies of beer were all given to Cheese.  The Hub went to Crow for taking the scenic route to the On On via every Oz Day party in Turners Beach.  He was still pissing on somewhere when Cheese fastened the Relic Hub to his Relic transport. On On  Dxxx

Maggie's Tonight!

Today's Run: 630pm
1 Crosby St
Turners Beach


Be there or be not be there, that is the question...
This will be a test of the blog system!

OnOn
Mr. G.Again----

View Larger Map

HandJob Mystery Run

HandJob is the hare this Monday, so the run will probably be in Turners Beach or Ulverstone... Still awaiting further details. If anyone can help us solve this mystery just email it to our secret email.



The above photo is my last memory of the Lark Whisky Tasting last night at Ringo and Dini's. Those who were not there should count themselves fortunate. We certainly conditioned our brains:

A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

Mr. G.Again----

Just for a Lark…

Hashers and local whisky lovers are invited to attend a tasting evening of Lark Distillery wares at the West Mooreville Rd chicken and moose farm, starting at 6:30 pm on Friday 23rd January (TONIGHT). Cost is $15 for those participating in the tastings, with substantial food provided. There may also be a Ringo-shaped birthday cake! BYO other drinks if desired.

Grizzly----

Port Sorell Hash

Knickers and Ratchet put on a good show. Two lots of HHH riders met in two different spots. GoneAgain fronted at both because he was so proud of his borrowed Suzuki Bandit 1200, darting up and down between all venues.

Great run, at least a 2 out of 10. An added 1/2 point for synching the Rambos and Whimps (aka the Runners and Walkers) for a grand finale at the end.

As per usual it was the women that brought colour to the circle.

More photos at GoneAgain's online album <here>.

FLASHER'S HOFT

DUE TO POPULAR DEMAND - THE DATES FOR MY NEXT HOFT HAS BEEN CHANGED SO ALL PEOPLE CAN FIT INTO ONE CAR - NEW DATES ARE 4th and 5th APRIL . GET YOUR NAME IN EARLY SO THE 2nd CARS CAN BE BOOKED .

CONTACT FLASHER (@dhash.com)

Regards

Brian Appleby
Car Carrier Supervisor
0437 465 769

All services provided by the members of the Patrick Group are subject to
Patrick's Standard Conditions of Contract, a copy of which is available on
request or may be viewed on-line at the Patrick website at
www.patrick.com.au/conditionsofcontract. Patrick's Standard Conditions of
Contract exclude Patrick's liability in certain circumstances and include
indemnities which benefit Patrick

FLASHER'S NEW HOFT

NEW HOFT FOR THE WEEKEND OF 28TH & 29TH MARCH.

SATURDAY WALK INTO MONTEZUMA FALLS AT ROSEBERY, THEN ONTO QUEENSTOWN FOR A OVERNIGHT STAY – CARAVAN PARK – ON THE SUNDAY WALK INTO NELSON FALLS THEN HOME .

ANYONE INTERESTED CONTACT FLASHER .

UP AND CUMMING IN TASSIE

• January 22 - Chardonnay H3 555th run, AGPU and 10th anniversary @ TBA
  
• January 23 - Lark distillery tasting @ West Mooreville Rd chicken farm
  
• January 31 - Hobart (H4) 2000th run @ The Lea
  
• February 14 - Red Dress Run @ Hobart
  
• May 1-3 - 2009 Aussie Nash Hash @ Cairns
  

Lifted from Burnie's Blog...

Port Sorell Bike Run - motorbike details

To all Hashers with motorcycles,
 
Riders will assemble at Dint and Koff's place (14 Church St, East Devonport)
at 6.00 p.m. for departure to Port Sorell shortly afterwards.
Bring a stubby for my fridge because I'm too tight to share one of mine with
you.
 
Dint

Port Sorell Bike Run

Port Sorell next monday (19/1/09), from the campsite next to the toilets there,... look for the noisy bike riders... Approximate map is <here>. If you are riding you might need to contact some of your fellow riders.

As an added bonus there is a chore we need to perform - on Thrust's advice. Jetstar is celebrating Austrlia Day by giving away 150 Jetstar Flight Vouchers worth $300 each. Just get some friends together, take a photo of them doing a Jetstar 'Star Jump' and email it to australiadaystars@jetstar.com.

We can do that.

Dini's Battle at Ross Photos

Find more photos like this on HashSpace

Cryptic Hareline

19/01/2009 - Port Sorell bike run
26/01/2009 - Hand Job - TBA
02/02/2009 - Pioneer - TBA

BA.

Ross Photos

Prickle supplied the below photos that acurately summed up the course of events at Ross. The rest of the photos are <here>.

We had little guns and big guns. See Herr Flick with his little weapon, and below that Urang with his man-sized secret weapon.

Mr. G.Again----

Kuunt Routed After Boags Walkover

AAP(Rooter) – Ross, Tasmania.

The Southern Hordes are without direction after Grizzly van der Kuunt’s leadership saw them comprehensively creamed by the victorious Boagans in a head-to-balls hard-on this weekend.  

Lord Ringo Kitchendraw claimed victory at midnight atop the historic Ross Bridge, and along with several trusted comrades, saluted The Full Moon in the traditional Boagan style.  

By Sunday morning, the Cascade Colonials could barely raise a route-march as they were outclassed on all fronts.  

-Superior weaponry - Urang called it “a machine for annoying the crap out of Hashers by throwing water bombs at them while making the operator twice as wet”.  We called it a catapult.

-Superior drinking skills – Both Anchor Harriettes suffered some spillage, but Hands On was humbled in the Wet T-shirt stakes as Puss in Boots had a bigger catchment area.

-Superior Ironmen – Urang employed his usual table manners to snatch victory from the lesser jaws of Jacques le Shiit.  In the rematch, Northern newbie Jayson claimed victory over southern stalwart Crusha by a short half Weetabix.

-Superior Style – tighter shirts, louder music, bongo drums, and sexier underwear.

Lord Ringo commended his troops on their magnificent victory, but warned that, in light of many Boagans’ illiteracy, media manipulation by Southern Boerish Webwankers could see blatant mis-reporting of the battle.

Van der Kuunt is said to have taken refuge at a local bowling green serving Riccadonna to the silver-haired patrons.

 

 

 

Cascade Colonials rout Boags Empire

Having reviewed the photographic evidence from Saturday's border skirmish at Ross and having impeached 'impartial' judge A Bit of This, leader of the Cascade Colonials Grizzly van der Kuunt has declared a walkover victory to the South over the North.  Evidence clearly shows northern grunt Puss In Boots did not skol her beer as anchor in the boat race but instead used it as a facial.  This was compounded in the Iron Man contest when that cheating bastard Urang finished with more food in his beard than was actually consumed.

Cmdr Kuunt was glowing is his praise of his troops, "We had a lot of defections, leaving us with only a small band of hardy, well-trained troops, but right was on our side and the border territory of Ross will fly the Cascade flag forevermore."

"I was extremely disappointed in the bias shown by the representative from the so-called independent nation of Guinness, who showed her true colours in the ladies tug-o-war, albeit as part of a beaten side."

Lord Ringo Kitchendraw could not be contacted for comment.

UCPC uprising

Devonport Hash was given only days notice to come out in force to control the UCPC (Ulverstone Caravan Park Campers) rebels. Pictured above we see Ringo practising his skills against the innocent photographer who was fortunately wearing armour - see picture below. No lives were lost, and only two complaints were received. Well done hashers. We celebrated our victory at the OzRock Inn where we invaded Crow's kitchen to raid some excellent fish 'n chips.

The full screen slideshow is <here>.



Your war-correspondent GoneAgain----

12 January run at the Cherry Shed in Latrobe

On on is a little further up the road... Watch this space!

High Noon Battle at Ross this weekend!

A Friendly reminder that the charge of the Light Beer Brigade begins at noon on Saturday 10th January 2009, and forces should marshal in full regalia outside the Ross Caravan Park.

Soldiers should bring their own meat rations and an extra canteen, lest you suffer from strong thirst.

Why not read the whole blurb <here> or for those on HashSpace you can even RSVP <here>.