Devonport Hash House Harriers: March 2010

March 24, 2010

Nothing Gnome about Mount Gnomon

It was a good Cackle of Happy Hashing Punters who found the carpark to Mount Gnomon who were fronted with a life and death Rambo/Whimp Decision. GoneAgain took the wrong decision and headed off down the steep dirt-road, minutes after the runners had left, in the Rambo direction. The sensible Burnie Hashers, our walkers and the Townsville Hashing Tourists all headed up the trail and into the dusk following the Whimp arrow.

The Walkers started at 320 meters above sealevel and climbed up to 480m, which marks the top of Mount Gnomon. The Runners first descended a further 50-100 meters along a fast trail before starting their climb... GoneAgain was lucky Crow had arrived late and summited in time to scrape him off the trail before he almost plunged off the cliff into a void of darkness, and carry him home.

Bastard had the food sorted at his private idaho, buns with meat. Crow came to the rescue for the second time today, bringing fruit and icecream. GoneAgain, who is diabetic, made his second mistake for the night and pigged out on the icecream as he doesnt eat that very often. He was so stuffed that he even left a full but opened beer to ride in the back of Kiler's van to be reclaimed next week.

The Townsville nomads pictured above, Blowback and Copit, were suitably impressed, especially after we all charged our glasses for a farewell drink to Truly the long dog who recently passed away :(

Next Run at Soff's Place in Turners Beach: Number 40 along the Esplanade

March 20, 2010

Gnomon Carpark next Monday

We met at the Big Spud prior to heading bush with Tracker for the real start at an undisclosed location. This sure cut into daylight hours. It all started like a pleasant enough walk in the park, and a run through a pleasant enough forest:

Dini even found a relatively pleasant smelling bush toilet which saved her day. The vapours almost melted her (see pic below)

And once we all got back to the cars there was not Dint. Dint found it an oportune time to train for a marathon.

Whilst half the pack departed for Tracker's onon at his home the other half broke open a six pack, ate chocolates and watched 'Ckof chainsmoking and profusely sweating. Cheese hid from the mosquitos in the car and Dint was out there somewhere doing extreme sports . He returned back in one piece after Killer went in the dark forest to fetch him.

Good food was had by all, Bitathis got congratulated on her 80th run with Devonport, for which we all sang a happy birthday song. Flasher and Dini robbed us off our small change and gave away stuff that noone wanted. All happy, and ready for more at the Gnomon carpark out of Ulverstone next monday (22 March 2010).

Truly memorable trail at Natone Reserve Sunday March 20

This week's Burnie hash will be a Truly memorable trail set by A Bit of This from the Upper Natone Forestry Reserve. It will feature low branches to annoy the 'two legs', dead smelly things to roll around in and hopefully a few scraps that can be scooped up off the ground before A Bit of This growls that you're all getting too fat.
On will be called at 5:00pm, but be prepared for impending darkness while on trail.

Bring a hat, mug, black arm band and $10 for food and bucket. As is Burnie Hash tradition, there will be a wee spot of Drambuie to mark Truly's time on trail.

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UP AND CUMMING
Saturday March 20 – Bream Creek Show run
Tuesday March 30 - LoonRhash @ Batman Bridge
Wednesday April 28 — LoonRhasH @ Sheffield
Friday May 28 — LoonRhasH @ Ulverstone?
Saturday May 29 – Burnie H3 AGPU
June 12-13 – Chardonnay Highland Fling
July 2-4 – 2010 Rainforest Interhash www.borneointerhash2010.com

Griz----

March 17, 2010

Truly a Cloud Nine Hasher

It is with a deal of sadness that we mark the passing of Truly the long dog; cat food napper, sausage dog impersonator and faithful hash hound of A Bit of This.

Truly started life as a doberman, but as legend has it hashed so much that her legs simply wore out.

Truly's 18th birthday was celebrated in October 2009 (see picture), making her approximately 85 in human years or 126 in hasher years.

In true Burnie hash tradition, Truly's passing will be marked with a Drambuie, with perhaps just a pint or two of Guinness.

Truly joins other notable hash hounds with the Cloud Nine Hash pack, such as Maverick, Fred the Transexual Hash Hound, Boo and Hamish.

A collection will be taken up to have Truly stuffed and mounted on a skateboard in an effort to stop A Bit of This scarpping off back to ol' Blighty.

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Posted By Grizzly to Burnie Hash House Harriers at 3/16/2010 11:40:00 PM

In the Valhella Moose Farm-yard on West Mooreville Road under the apple tree, nearby to Monty the cat and many other treasured pets.

"We drank several bottles of whisky last night to make sure the pain was numbed." - Dini & Ringo

March 13, 2010

Congratulations DHash

We made it! 1500 Runs in and around Devonport. We are still legally allowed to congregate and run in built-up areas, still allowed to wear our badges and isignia. We are not banned from meeting, not accused of illegal activities (yet) and we do not yet need protection by high-priced lawyers who construct legal corporate frameworks for us and represent Hashers in court. This may of course change after Nash Hash...

Lantern gave us all the very serious task of carrying a cool kilo of ice on the run. Lucky for us we were warned to bring gloves. Unfortunately many of us seemed to prefer the latex/medical type of glove which was of little help in carrying ice. The land-owners who allowed us to run through their property put water out for us, which we all suspected of being laced with Vodka. After all, the donuts we got at the start of the run were laced with mustard. When we crossed the creek and clambered up the other bank there was a support vehicle with more virgins feeding us glasses of milk which we surely suspected of being laced with something. The TimTams we tainted with Vegemite, so why would the milk be pure?

Back at the on-on a huge meal was awaiting us, organised by Lantern's little helpers. He did his best to get the ingredients, and managed to get some right. So much food was provided that we forgot about our kilo of melting ice which GoneAgain, Ringo, Sof, Tracker, and a few other obedient Hashers managed to carry the long way round. Ice was ditched on the lawn.

Dint had a beautiful cake adorned with the number 1500. Dini was very proud of Dint for once.

NEXT WEEKS RUN FROM: The Big Potato on the Bass Highway past Latrobe...

March 8, 2010

1500

Last week's run, combined the Lunar and D-Hash run at Thrust's house and went as expected; Everything was perfect. From the catering to the run, the company and the full moon, all went dreadfully well. But now, lets focus on today's big ticket item:

That is right, today is the 1500th run for the Devonport Hash House Harriers. Humble as we are this is not a big deal. But Lantern will be setting an extra special run for us, the good man he is, and all Hashers are cordially** invited to attend this special evening of debauchery* at the Lantern Inn: 168 Stoney Rise Road.

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Appendix:

The Mazada Standard 1500 Sedan at $2255 was Mazda's idea of "standard" was to give delusions of "luxury", offering plenty more than most other competitors of the time. Standard inventory included windscreen washers, reversing lights, and an advanced fresh air system.
1500 Gallery specializes in Brazilian photography, and is the first art gallery in the world with this explicit focus.
The first world record in the 1,500 m for men (athletics) was recognized by the International Amateur Athletics Federation, now known as the International Association of Athletics Federations, in 1912.
The Average Number of calories an adult requires in one day is 1500
The Number 1500 is the largest number to appear in the Torah as the value of a single word.\
The Number 1500 coincides with the value of the Greek phos (light) and God's explicit teaching that "the Torah is light" (Proverbs 6:23).

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* de·bauch·er·y

-bô

-r

)

n. pl. de·bauch·er·ies

a. Extreme indulgence in sensual pleasures; dissipation.

b. debaucheries Orgies.

2. Archaic Seduction from morality, allegiance, or duty.

____________________________________

** cor·dial

(kôr

adj.

1. Warm and sincere; friendly: a cordial greeting; cordial relations. See Synonyms at gracious.

2. Strongly felt; fervent: a cordial abhorrence of waste.

3. Serving to invigorate; stimulating.

1. A stimulant; a tonic.

2. A liqueur.

[Middle English, of the heart, from Medieval Latin cordilis, from Latin cor, cord-, heart; see kerd- in Indo-European roots.]

cor·diali·ty (-j

-t

, -j

-, -d

-), cordial·ness n.

cordial·ly adv.

OFFICE BEARERS

Grandmaster – Flasher Joint masters – Tracka & Tinsel Hash hops – Cheese Hash lip – Gyno Lower lip – Crow Hash cash – Bald Eagle Hash monk – Killer Rig raffle – Crow Hash Flash – Rumpole Hash web – Gone again On sec – Shagadelic Trailmasters – Maggie, Flasher Who needs a Hash Monk, haven't had one for years and the sun still shines...

And incidentally,....

1. HASH HOPS: This is unquestionably the most important position in the hash. The Beermeister has the weighty responsibility of making sure that the lifeblood of hashing is available at each and every hash event. He keeps constant vigilance to find the cheapest spirituous fermenti available, always has coolers in the trunk of his car, cases of beer in his garage, and reliably returns the empty keg to get another full one for the next hash. While this might be a "pain in the ass" job, it's undoubtedly the most important one to the hash.

2. GRAND MASTER: The head hasher. The chairman of the board. The big cheese. The HMFIC. The guiding light. Gispert's legacy. The GM is not simply a figure head for the hash, rather (s)he personifies the hash's character (or lack thereof.) (S)he leads with a dynamic strength that permeates the fabric of the organization. Both directly, and through the hash officers, (s)he gives inspiration, direction, and vision to all. This position ranks only below Beermeister, Hash Cash, Hash Mouth, Hash Flash, and On-Sec in real importance to the hash.

3. HASH HAWKER or HABERDASHER: This is a person who has a flair for fashion, a head for business (who said head?), and the showmanship of P.T. Barnum. (S)he's responsible for the design, procurement, warehousing, merchandising, and vending of items of apparel and various trinkets to the hash. Prior flea market or circus midway experience preferred.

4. HARE RAISER: The Hare Raiser makes sure that there's a hare (or hares) for each hash, and that the start location is known to the On-Sec well in advance of hash day for publicity purposes. The Hare Raiser IS the hare if (s)he can't find anyone else to do it.

5. HASH CASH: The holder of the purse-strings. Someone needs to dash about the start of each hash begging for money. Someone has to keep track of what comes in and what goes out (commonly referred to as "the old in and out.") These generally unappreciated duties fall on the shoulders of the Hash Cash. This trustworthy soul must withstand the whining of the Hares who have overspent, the whimpering of those who forgot their fees, and the interrogations of those who mistakenly think there should be some sort of accounting for hash funds.

6. HASH FLASH: The person who captures for posterity all embarrassing hash moments on film. The hash flash must have an acute sense of the absurd to know what to take photos of, and also a small degree of reliability to bring a camera, film, take pictures, have them developed and put only the finest thereof into the sacred photo album.

7. HASH HARLOT: A trashy wench who has seen the dark side of hashing... and likes it! One with a lust for life who, revels in being the butt of the jester's ribald wit, the object of the songster's bawdy lyric, and the centrepiece of sensual repartee at all hash functions.

8. TRAIL MASTER or HASH HORN: Equipment requirements: A bugle or other appropriate wind instrument. Performance venue: The hash trail. Musical ability: Optional.

9. LIP : The hash mouth runs the official business at the On-On with an iron hand. (S)he must be loud, clear, passionate, articulate, humorous and possess an uncommon ability to think on his feet. It also helps if (s)he speaks English.

10. HASHIT KEEPER: This is arguably the most complicated position within the hash hierarchy. The responsibility surrounds custody of a large cardboard box (or entire house) filled with the flotsam and jetsam of past hashes. Precisely why this crap is retained is a mystery shrouded in the mythology of hashdom. However, the hashit itself rarely makes it to the hash, although the custodian is usually there himself. This reinforces the argument that remembering to bring the hashit is probably beyond the cognitive ability of your average hasher.

11. ON-SEC: This position is the masochist's dream. (S)he struggles with piles of paper, miles of computer wire, and might attempt to occasionally produce a Hound Directory or Hash Trash to keep the hash members somewhat informed. (S)he is the principal "outside" representative maintaining the Harrier.Net Worldwide WebSite, the hash membership data base. Boring stuff to say the least.

12. RELIGIOUS ADVISOR: Keeper of the faith. Enforcer of the scriptures. This is the hasher who has seen the light (Bud light) and can taste in his soul the true spirit of Hashing. The religious advisor spreads the word and inspires the zest and zeal of the hash in all participants. Any hasher found transgressing the spirit of hashing is disciplined by the RA. (S)e is the keeper of the sacred Laws of Hashing and comes up with sufficiently plausible lies to cover any serious questions of propriety of actions within the hash.

13. SONGMEISTER: This is a hasher with no self-respect. (S)he never lacks for a song suitable to the occasion. His songs are risqué, lewd, and vulgar. The Songmeister speaks with other hashers and hashes to acquire songs to add to the hash hymnal. The mission is to explore new tunes and new celebrations. To boldly go where no Songmeister has gone before (pardon the split infinitive.)