Devonport Hash House Harriers: December 2010

December 30, 2010

This is F**KING URGENT - Change for next run!

There has been a change for next Monday's Run. (3 Jan 630pm) It is now the wet
tee shirt run at Crows. The following week is being set at Les Biens at the
end of McCabe Avenue, Devonport.

Thanks and best wishes for 2011.

Guardsvan

December 28, 2010

Up and Cummin

3/1/11 630pm - Alma Bridge (Wilmot side) 12.2 ks from Forth on Wilmot Road. Depending on weather conditions there will be wet foot trail for runners and dry foot trail for walkers (or a combination thereof at your choice) 6.45ish start. Dogs need to be on leash. On On at picnic shelter near bridge – Hare: .... Guardsvan

December 21, 2010

Ho Ho Ho at HHH

Christmas was celebrated in the North West in traditional Hash Style. Burnie Hash was overwhelmed by Devonport Hash who all politely showed up respectably late. Phaywray and her little helpers cooked up a storm and no one was felt wanting for more... Well, except Santa of course. We all wanted more of him. We all duly sat on his lap hoping for that little bit more, but short of a flashing smile Santa Ringo was awfully well behaved.

The next night at Crow's abode, saw Devonport Xmas Hash started with several circles on the beach. Not sure if they were employees of the renowned Oz-Rock-Inn, just ring-ins or just a flook, but two beach bunnies showed up for a photo session, drooling over the handsome Santas present and wanting to sign on the HHH dotted line immediately. GoneAgain set the minimum Hashing age at 12 to cover all possibilities and promptly was told off with a down down and Cheese reminded him that the minimum age was 16. Miraculously the beach bunnies still qualified and we shall be expecting them to show their smiles at the next hash (even though they went to school in Launceston)!

Numerous runners made it to the end of the Ulverstone Rock Wall, and from there on the night degraded steadily with the lip having to hand out spankings with a wooden spoon and writing out sexual favour cheques for the goody -two-shoes who failed to join i against the lip. The night briefly reached a new climax with a superb meal at the ORI (Oz Rock Inn) but after that we resorted to the usual low standard of entertainment which included pole dancing (Crow wiped the pole with his tongue after each session). The night came to an abrupt halt when Crow was floored by his own entertainment unit which threw a heavy loudspeaker at him after he failed to maim himself on the pole.

Next Devonport Hash run shall be from the Tasmanian Arboretum on the Old Tramway Road near the Huge Banana (Eugenana).

God Protect Launceston as they are having LoonRhasH Christmas at the Duke of Wellington hotel at 7pm with a pub-meal.

December 20, 2010

Walking just isn't enough

Guardy's run at Alma bridge was a roaring success. Some hashers used muscles they hadn't used much before when they came upon the flex tree gym apparatus on the way to the dam. Mullét even found it quite fun to sit and bounce on it. She said she hadn't cum that way before - to the dam I presume.

December 19, 2010

Xmas Run Correction

Just to be clear.... Crow's Oz Rock Inn on Monday 20th of December (Beach Road, Ulverstone) at 6.30pm-ish. Bring spare shoes and gear in case someone decides you go for a swim.

GA----

December 14, 2010

Christmas Run 20th December

Our Christmas Party will not be cancelled due to sexually inappropriate advances. At our age (average Hasher is now a respectable 38) that just is not going to happen.

Our own Devonport Hash Christmas party will be hosted from Crow's Oz Rock Inn on Monday 20th of December (Beach Road, Ulverstone) at 6.30pm-ish. Bring spare shoes and gear in case someone decides you go for a swim.

Dress with a Christmas flavour ... you turkey!! Beware of the man with the big red nose.

And on the Up and Cumming list we also see that the other frivolous festive events are as follows:

BURNIE HASH Christmas: Sunday December 19th - 5pm from Burnie Spotlight. Bring plate of food and a secret santa gift worth at least $500.
LoonRhasH Christmas at the Duke of Wellington hotel in Launceston: 7pm Tuesday December 21st. Pubmeal.

December 13, 2010

RUN UPDATE 13/12

Due to persistent precipitation in the proximity, the river crossing has been aborted. Run will still start and finish at Alma Bridge. On On will be under cover.

Guardsvan

December 6, 2010

Kelcey Tier Virgin Territory

Dyke promised us no hills and no mud, no false trails, an ocean full of whales and world peace. And what did we get?

Well, Oh my God, what a fabulous room! Are all these your guitars? This place is bigger than our apartment. Uh, could I have a drink of water? Ya want some? Huh? Oh wow! Look at this tub! Wanna take a bath?

Mable cooked up a storm, excellent bread (straight from the freezer), well rigged raffle complete with GoneAgain drawing his own number for the best prize - he was going to call out his own number no matter what, but luck was apparently on his side as well.

Next weeks run is from Alma Bridge 12.2 ks from Forth Post Office on Wilmot Road. Park on right hand side over bridge. Bring spare clothes.

PS.

December 5, 2010

Receding Hareline

When: 13^th December

Where: Alma Bridge 12.2 ks from Forth Post Office on Wilmot Road. Park on right hand side over bridge.

Brief: First part of trail will be transport leg. Runners and walkers will follow same trail. Walkers will be transported further than runners. Approx. distances

> runners ; 7 ks, walkers; 4 ks. Trail will involve river crossing, so suggest bring change of clothing and footwear. First transport load departs 6.45 pm.

On On: At picnic shelter on left Wilmot side of bridge.

G.V.

December 3, 2010

Devonport Hash office bearers 2011

Even though Mabel is On-Sec, he can't spell and is computer illiterate, but more importantly, it was I who transcribed details of that abomination we called an AGM on Monday night.

Details below,

Dint.

POSITION	2010	2011

GRAND MASTER / MATTRESS	Crow	Koff

JOINT MASTERS	Guardsvan / Bastard	Maggie / Fanny May

ON-SEC	Bald Eagle	Mabel

HASH CASH	Dint	Cheeze

HASH LIP	Mabel	Pioneer

LOWER LIP	Shoveit	Shoveit

TRAIL-MASTER	Cheeze	Dyke

POXIE TRAIL-MASTER	Flasher	Guardsvan

HASH HOPS	Flasher	Flasher

SNAIL TRAIL-MASTER	Bastard	Hand Job

POXIE SNAIL TRAIL-MASTER	Feels on Wheels	P.B.

HASH THIEF	Dint	Foghorn

MARRIAGE GUIDANCE COUNSELLOR	Thrust	Gone Again

BEER BITCH	Tinsel	Bald Eagle

WEB WANKER	Gone Again	Gone Again

HASH MONK	Mabel	Bastard

POXIE BEER BITCH	Hand Job	Mabel

OFFICE BEARERS

DH3 Committee

Grand Mattress – Shagadelic
Joint Masters – Bald Eagle & Killer
Hash Hops – Cheese
Trail Master Runners – Turtle, Walkers – Koff
Hash Cash – Crow
Rigged Raffle – Flasher
Hash Lip – Lantern
Lower Lip – Turtle
Beer Bitch – Koff
Web Wanker – Shagadelic/Gone Again
Hash Texter – Shagadelic
Hash Flash – GoneAgain
Religious Advisor - GoneAgain
Hash Marriage Guidance – Black Tracka

Who needs a Hash Monk, haven't had one for years and the sun still shines...

And incidentally,....

1. HASH HOPS: This is unquestionably the most important position in the hash. The Beermeister has the weighty responsibility of making sure that the lifeblood of hashing is available at each and every hash event. He keeps constant vigilance to find the cheapest spirituous fermenti available, always has coolers in the trunk of his car, cases of beer in his garage, and reliably returns the empty keg to get another full one for the next hash. While this might be a "pain in the ass" job, it's undoubtedly the most important one to the hash.

2. GRAND MASTER: The head hasher. The chairman of the board. The big cheese. The HMFIC. The guiding light. Gispert's legacy. The GM is not simply a figure head for the hash, rather (s)he personifies the hash's character (or lack thereof.) (S)he leads with a dynamic strength that permeates the fabric of the organization. Both directly, and through the hash officers, (s)he gives inspiration, direction, and vision to all. This position ranks only below Beermeister, Hash Cash, Hash Mouth, Hash Flash, and On-Sec in real importance to the hash.

3. HASH HAWKER or HABERDASHER: This is a person who has a flair for fashion, a head for business (who said head?), and the showmanship of P.T. Barnum. (S)he's responsible for the design, procurement, warehousing, merchandising, and vending of items of apparel and various trinkets to the hash. Prior flea market or circus midway experience preferred.

4. HARE RAISER: The Hare Raiser makes sure that there's a hare (or hares) for each hash, and that the start location is known to the On-Sec well in advance of hash day for publicity purposes. The Hare Raiser IS the hare if (s)he can't find anyone else to do it.

5. HASH CASH: The holder of the purse-strings. Someone needs to dash about the start of each hash begging for money. Someone has to keep track of what comes in and what goes out (commonly referred to as "the old in and out.") These generally unappreciated duties fall on the shoulders of the Hash Cash. This trustworthy soul must withstand the whining of the Hares who have overspent, the whimpering of those who forgot their fees, and the interrogations of those who mistakenly think there should be some sort of accounting for hash funds.

6. HASH FLASH: The person who captures for posterity all embarrassing hash moments on film. The hash flash must have an acute sense of the absurd to know what to take photos of, and also a small degree of reliability to bring a camera, film, take pictures, have them developed, and put only the finest thereof into the sacred photo album.

7. HASH HARLOT: A trashy wench who has seen the dark side of hashing... and likes it! One with a lust for life who, revels in being the butt of the jester's ribald wit, the object of the songster's bawdy lyric, and the centerpiece of sensual repartee at all hash functions.

8. TRAIL MASTER or HASH HORN: Equipment requirements: A bugle or other appropriate wind instrument. Performance venue: The hash trail. Musical ability: Optional.

9. LIP : The hash mouth runs the official business at the On-On with an iron hand. (S)he must be loud, clear, passionate, articulate, humorous and possess an uncommon ability to think on his feet. It also helps if (s)he speaks English.

10. HASHIT KEEPER: This is arguably the most complicated position within the hash hierarchy. The responsibility surrounds custody of a large cardboard box (or entire house) filled with the flotsam and jetsam of past hashes. Precisely why this crap is retained is a mystery shrouded in the mythology of hashdom. However, the hashit itself rarely makes it to the hash, although the custodian is usually there himself. This reinforces the argument that remembering to bring the hashit is probably beyond the cognitive ability of your average hasher.

11. ON-SEC: This position is the masochist's dream. (S)he struggles with piles of paper, miles of computer wire, and might attempt to occasionally produce a Hound Directory or Hash Trash to keep the hash members somewhat informed. (S)he is the principal "outside" representative maintaining the Harrier.Net Worldwide WebSite, the hash membership data base. Boring stuff to say the least.

12. RELIGIOUS ADVISOR: Keeper of the faith. Enforcer of the scriptures. This is the hasher who has seen the light (Bud light) and can taste in his soul the true spirit of Hashing. The religious advisor spreads the word and inspires the zest and zeal of the hash in all participants. Any hasher found transgressing the spirit of hashing is disciplined by the RA. (S)e is the keeper of the sacred Laws of Hashing and comes up with sufficiently plausible lies to cover any serious questions of propriety of actions within the hash.

13. SONGMEISTER: This is a hasher with no self-respect. (S)he never lacks for a song suitable to the occasion. His songs are risqué, lewd, and vulgar. The Songmeister speaks with other hashers and hashes to acquire songs to add to the hash hymnal. The mission is to explore new tunes and new celebrations. To boldly go where no Songmeister has gone before (pardon the split infinitive.)