Devonport Hash House Harriers: March 2022

March 30, 2022

Spotlight on Soff

Respect Aged Care
Issue 11, January 20

Resident Name: Rod Priestly

Family: Wife Judy; Daughter Jane and Dog Gracie
Former Occupation: Postal Manager
Interests: Motorcycle riding and sailing
Special holidays: Caravanning and motorcycling around Australia
Favourite foods: Roast dinner and any thing sweet
Food Dislikes: Egg and cream
Favourite music: Classic Australian rock
Most annoying thing: Slow drivers
Favourite quote: Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life.

March 29, 2022

RUN REPORT 2107 March 21 2022 – Lantern (Durkins Road)

Bald Eagle, Beaver Basher, Black Tracka, Cheese, Crow, Dint, F.C., Flasher, Gone Again, Guardsvan, Gyno, Killer, Lantern, Maggie, Ratchet, Shagadelic, Tinsel, Turtle.

A clever cat run by Lantern at Durkins Road. Cunning Crow conned the Central Coast Cruisers into ignoring the start as marked and heading uphill to where he imagined that Lantern would finish the run.

This turned out to be a fine coup for Crow – he led Maggie and FC straight to the HHH. To be fair these three took to the back end (like any good poofter) and after a couple of kilometres caught up with the incoming Flasher and Cheese and returned home.

Trail proper by all accounts was excellent as per Lantern’s usual. Lantern and Beaver Basher’s culinary efforts were outstanding and even slowed down the gannets. The rigorously rigged raffle continued in that theme under Crow’s control.

Chance alcohol prizes still consistently favour the Central Coast Cruisers hash subcommittee.

One shy hasher entertained all by his account of his recovery from a very bad Koff only to come down with something else that is quite cuntagious.

Lip Lantern continued to distinguish himself and a few notable downs were: Down-downs for:

Lantern (Hare); Black Tracka (1,550 runs); Crow (1,125 runs); Maggie (680 runs); Ratchet (323 runs); Turtle (??);

Cheese disgraced himself by proving that Turtle is really a wranger by pantsing her as she did a noble down for unknown reasons.

The highlight or lowlight of the evening was the blindfold surprise for Flasher hatched by a conniving pair (Lantern and Beaver Basher). We all know how Flasher fantasizes over hairless pussies – well Beaver Basher’s hairless pussy felt very familiar to Flasher’s learned touch (as pictured).

LAST RUN: Mon 14th Mar. 2022 Hare: Crab Where: Otto’s Grotto [2106] THIS RUN: Mon 21st Mar. 2022 Hare: Lantern Where: Durkins Road [2107] NEXT RUN: Mon. 28th Mar. 2022 Hare: Gyno Where: Dell Luck Don [2108] NEXT +1: Mon. 4th Apr. 2022 Hare: Killer Where: TBA [2109]

Run 2109

Hare/s : Killer

Where                          : 10 William St, Forth
When                           : Monday 4^th April 2022, 6.30pm for 6.45pm   AEST
Cost                            : $ 15
Bring                            : Chair
Notes:                        :    If you are feeling unwell or should be in quarantine, please DON'T attend. PLEASE respect the health of others.
Hare's PLEASE plan for an outdoor OnOn.
Thanks Shagadelic.
Receding Hareline:
Run 2110 – 11/4 Shagadelic Bluff
Run 2111 – 18/4 Tracka (Easter)
Run 2112 – 25/4 Bald Eagle (Anzac Day)
Run 2113 – 2/5 Debrie
Run 2114 – 9/5 Yep
Run 2115 – 16/5 FC
Run 2116 – 23/5 Turtle
Run 2117 – 30/5 Maggie
Run 2118 – 6/6 Guardsvan
Run 2119 – 13/6 Gyno
Run 2120 – 20/6 Gone Again

March 24, 2022

Run 2108

Hare/s : Gyno

Where                          : Ktek workshop, Stony Rise Rd, Don
When                           : Monday 28^th March 2022, 6.30pm for 6.45pm   AEST
Cost                            : $ 15
Bring                            : Chair
Notes:                        :    If you are feeling unwell or should be in quarantine, please DON'T attend. PLEASE respect the health of others.
Hare's PLEASE plan for an outdoor OnOn.
Thanks Shagadelic.
Receding Hareline:
Run 2109 – 4/4 Killer
Run 2110 – 11/4 Shagadelic
Run 2111 – 18/4 Yep (Easter)
Run 2112 – 25/4 Bald Eagle (Anzac Day)
Run 2113 – 2/5 Debrie
Run 2114 – 9/5 Tracka
Run 2115 – 16/5 FC
Run 2116 – 23/5 Turtle
Run 2117 – 30/5 Maggie
Run 2118 – 6/6 Guardsvan

March 23, 2022

DH3 RUN NO. 2106 March 14 2022 – Crab (Otto’s Grotto)

Present: Bald Eagle, Beaver Basher, Black Tracka, Cheese, Crab, Crow, Dint, F.C., Flasher, Gone Again, Guardsvan, Lantern, Maggie, Ratchet, Tinsel, Turtle.

Another adventure in Paradise run by Crab from Otto’s Grotto headquarters followed by a cleverly devised St. Patrick’s Day Irish quiz followed by chicken a salad delights. >
Despite FC gaining 10/10 due to Ratchet’s fine marking Dint fluked a win but publicity is not something Dint thrives on – just saying. The trail wound around the river and over the bridge to FINO.

Apparently, Turtle approached the HHH backwards (looking over her shoulder) so there appeared to be some confusion from the hare apparent or apparent hare. Van struggled around a short version of the run due to his much shorter pace than usual – has vasectomy scars slowing him a little.

Crab’s beautiful and long-suffering first wife assisted in delivering the food and other consumables and Cheese supplied a fine selection of alcoholic drinks. The rigged raffle was even more rigged than usual with Crow following a green theme with many trivial prizes except for the obligatory few alcohol-related ones which by chance consistently favour the Central Coast Cruisers hash subcommittee.

On account of the power blackout at the Grotto (imposed by Council) – The Indian security guards rounded up the hash stragglers before lock up (the premises not Crow and Maggie) and before they could consume all of the port – but that’s not a bad thing.

Lip Lantern performed with distinction as usual and some downs may be lost in the mists of alcohol but: Down-downs for:

Crab (Hare); FC (955 runs); Flasher (735 runs); Gone Again (405 runs); Guardsvan (1,505 runs); Lantern (840 runs); F.C. (Unleaded FUBAR)

LAST RUN: Mon 7th Mar. 2022 Hare: Crow Where: Oz Rock Inn [2105] THIS RUN: Mon 14th Mar. 2022 Hare: Crab Where: Otto’s Grotto [2106]

NEXT RUN: Mon 21 st Mar. 2022 Hare: Lantern Where: Durkins Road [2107] NEXT +1: Mon. 28th Mar. 2022 Hare: Gyno Where: TBA [2108]

Whe Rethef Uka Rewe again?

Dint won the bottle of 'Scotch' with St. Patrick’s Day Irish quiz

March 15, 2022

Run 2107

Hare/s : Lantern

Where                          : Durkins Rd, Quoiba, just past cemetery under power lines
When                           : Monday 21^st March 2022, 6.30pm for 6.45pm   AEST
Cost                            : $ 15
Bring                            : Chair – ONON at Lantern's, 168 Stony Rise Rd, Devonport
Notes:                        :    If you are feeling unwell or should be in quarantine, please DON'T attend. PLEASE respect the health of others.
Hare's PLEASE plan for an outdoor OnOn.
Thanks Shagadelic.
Receding Hareline:
Run 2108 – 28/3 Gyno
Run 2109 – 4/4 Killer
Run 2110 – 11/4 Shagadelic
Run 2111 – 18/4 Yep
Run 2112 – 25/4 Guardsvan?
Run 2113 – 2/5 Bald Eagle
Run 2114 – 9/5 Debrie
Run 2115 – 16/5
Run 2116 – 23/5

March 9, 2022

Run 2106

Hare/s : Crab (St Patrick's Day)

Where                          : Ottos Grotto, Dial St, Ulverstone.
When                           : Monday 14^th March 2022, 6.30pm for 6.45pm   AEST
Cost                            : $ 15
Bring                            : wear a craic…..green…..
Notes:                        :    If you are feeling unwell or should be in quarantine, please DON'T attend. PLEASE respect the health of others.
Hare's PLEASE plan for an outdoor OnOn.
Thanks Shagadelic.
Receding Hareline:
Run 2107 – 21/3 Lantern Durkins Rd, Quoiba. Just past the cemetery, under the power lines. OnOn at 168 Stony Rise Rd, Devonport.
Run 2108 – 28/3 Gyno
Run 2109 – 4/4 Killer
Run 2110 – 11/4 Shagadelic
Run 2111 – 18/4 Yep
Run 2112 – 25/4 Guardsvan?
Run 2113 – 2/5 Bald Eagle
Run 2114 – 9/5 Debrie
Run 2115 – 16/5
Run 2116 – 23/5

March 2, 2022

Run 2105

Hare/s : Crow

Where                          : Oz Rock Inn, Beach Rd, Ulverstone
When                           : Monday 7^th March 2022, 6.30pm for 6.45pm   AEST
Cost                            : $ 15
Bring                            :
Notes:                        :    If you are feeling unwell or should be in quarantine, please DON'T attend. PLEASE respect the health of others.
Hare's PLEASE plan for an outdoor OnOn.
Thanks Shagadelic.
Receding Hareline:
Run 2106 – 14/3 Crab (St Pat's Day)
Run 2107 – 21/3 Lantern
Run 2108 – 28/3 Gyno
Run 2109 – 4/4 Killer
Run 2110 – 11/4 Shagadelic
Run 2111 – 18/4 Yep
Run 2112 – 25/4 Guardsvan?
Run 2113 – 2/5
Run 2114 – 9/5

OFFICE BEARERS

Grandmaster – Flasher Joint masters – Tracka & Tinsel Hash hops – Cheese Hash lip – Gyno Lower lip – Crow Hash cash – Bald Eagle Hash monk – Killer Rig raffle – Crow Hash Flash – Rumpole Hash web – Gone again On sec – Shagadelic Trailmasters – Maggie, Flasher Who needs a Hash Monk, haven't had one for years and the sun still shines...

And incidentally,....

1. HASH HOPS: This is unquestionably the most important position in the hash. The Beermeister has the weighty responsibility of making sure that the lifeblood of hashing is available at each and every hash event. He keeps constant vigilance to find the cheapest spirituous fermenti available, always has coolers in the trunk of his car, cases of beer in his garage, and reliably returns the empty keg to get another full one for the next hash. While this might be a "pain in the ass" job, it's undoubtedly the most important one to the hash.

2. GRAND MASTER: The head hasher. The chairman of the board. The big cheese. The HMFIC. The guiding light. Gispert's legacy. The GM is not simply a figure head for the hash, rather (s)he personifies the hash's character (or lack thereof.) (S)he leads with a dynamic strength that permeates the fabric of the organization. Both directly, and through the hash officers, (s)he gives inspiration, direction, and vision to all. This position ranks only below Beermeister, Hash Cash, Hash Mouth, Hash Flash, and On-Sec in real importance to the hash.

3. HASH HAWKER or HABERDASHER: This is a person who has a flair for fashion, a head for business (who said head?), and the showmanship of P.T. Barnum. (S)he's responsible for the design, procurement, warehousing, merchandising, and vending of items of apparel and various trinkets to the hash. Prior flea market or circus midway experience preferred.

4. HARE RAISER: The Hare Raiser makes sure that there's a hare (or hares) for each hash, and that the start location is known to the On-Sec well in advance of hash day for publicity purposes. The Hare Raiser IS the hare if (s)he can't find anyone else to do it.

5. HASH CASH: The holder of the purse-strings. Someone needs to dash about the start of each hash begging for money. Someone has to keep track of what comes in and what goes out (commonly referred to as "the old in and out.") These generally unappreciated duties fall on the shoulders of the Hash Cash. This trustworthy soul must withstand the whining of the Hares who have overspent, the whimpering of those who forgot their fees, and the interrogations of those who mistakenly think there should be some sort of accounting for hash funds.

6. HASH FLASH: The person who captures for posterity all embarrassing hash moments on film. The hash flash must have an acute sense of the absurd to know what to take photos of, and also a small degree of reliability to bring a camera, film, take pictures, have them developed and put only the finest thereof into the sacred photo album.

7. HASH HARLOT: A trashy wench who has seen the dark side of hashing... and likes it! One with a lust for life who, revels in being the butt of the jester's ribald wit, the object of the songster's bawdy lyric, and the centrepiece of sensual repartee at all hash functions.

8. TRAIL MASTER or HASH HORN: Equipment requirements: A bugle or other appropriate wind instrument. Performance venue: The hash trail. Musical ability: Optional.

9. LIP : The hash mouth runs the official business at the On-On with an iron hand. (S)he must be loud, clear, passionate, articulate, humorous and possess an uncommon ability to think on his feet. It also helps if (s)he speaks English.

10. HASHIT KEEPER: This is arguably the most complicated position within the hash hierarchy. The responsibility surrounds custody of a large cardboard box (or entire house) filled with the flotsam and jetsam of past hashes. Precisely why this crap is retained is a mystery shrouded in the mythology of hashdom. However, the hashit itself rarely makes it to the hash, although the custodian is usually there himself. This reinforces the argument that remembering to bring the hashit is probably beyond the cognitive ability of your average hasher.

11. ON-SEC: This position is the masochist's dream. (S)he struggles with piles of paper, miles of computer wire, and might attempt to occasionally produce a Hound Directory or Hash Trash to keep the hash members somewhat informed. (S)he is the principal "outside" representative maintaining the Harrier.Net Worldwide WebSite, the hash membership data base. Boring stuff to say the least.

12. RELIGIOUS ADVISOR: Keeper of the faith. Enforcer of the scriptures. This is the hasher who has seen the light (Bud light) and can taste in his soul the true spirit of Hashing. The religious advisor spreads the word and inspires the zest and zeal of the hash in all participants. Any hasher found transgressing the spirit of hashing is disciplined by the RA. (S)e is the keeper of the sacred Laws of Hashing and comes up with sufficiently plausible lies to cover any serious questions of propriety of actions within the hash.

13. SONGMEISTER: This is a hasher with no self-respect. (S)he never lacks for a song suitable to the occasion. His songs are risqué, lewd, and vulgar. The Songmeister speaks with other hashers and hashes to acquire songs to add to the hash hymnal. The mission is to explore new tunes and new celebrations. To boldly go where no Songmeister has gone before (pardon the split infinitive.)