Devonport Hash House Harriers: June 2014

June 24, 2014

Run 1724

When: Monday 30th June @ 1845 ish

Where: 64 Surrey Street, Devonport

Bring: $15 plus torch and warm clothes

Hare: Thrust

On On: as above

Run Report 1723:

CRAFT

June 17, 2014

Run 1723

When: Monday 23^rd June @ 1845 ish

Where: 103 William St., Forth

Bring: $15 plus torch

Hare: Guardsvan

On On: Sure thing!

Run 1722

Fourteen hair-brained hashers gathered at The Mersey Yacht Club in their endeavour to out-wit Hare Dint. What a task! Anyway off we went to explore where the Boganvilliers grow. It was too dark to see any but we were sure they were there.

We struck more falsies than the Gay Mardi Gras as the trail weaved through the Boganville fitness track. Here we found where the walkers were to head home and the runners dispersed in all directions, except Crow. The pace was on as we tried to keep up with Thrust, except Crow. A circuitous route through the Boganvilliers found the HHH, except Crow. It was all down-hill on the way home. The pack split as a two-some forged ahead and the remainder followed. Except Crow.

Great run (and walk) Dint! Enjoyed by all, except Crow.

The On-On at Koff’s Kitchen was a five course degustation menu. We were all dis-gustated! Sorry Koff, I have told an untruth. It was great tucka!

Once upon a time when hash was hash we used to have sausages and cardboard hamburgers with a slice of dry bread. On special occasions we would have tomato sauce..... and then along came Koff. The rest is (nearly) history.

Thank you Dint and Koff.

June 11, 2014

Run No 1722

When: Monday 16^th June @ 1845 ish

Where: Mersey Yacht Club, East Devonport

Bring: $15 plus torch

Hare: Dint

On On: Koff’s Place

Run 1721 was Eagley anticipated by the assembled hashers of a baker’s dozen. The streets of Badlands were roamed by the pack with local mayor Dint giving us the low down of where and how to go. Boner left the pack for a few minutes at an unknown building. He came out shouting “it’s a boy, it’s boy!!”. He’s not going back there again! Maggie was his usual “make your own rules” self as he called a Master Check because he was stuffed and the rest of the pack was “hashing” elsewhere.. The “on home” for the walkers was identified with FOH which must be some nautical term which us non-nautical types didn’t understand. The running pack of 4 continued for what seemed to be of mammoth proportions. (We didn’t see any mother moths!) Eventually we arrived “home” at 2000 bells.

We shared Eagle’s Vices in his man cave and Nest served up sumptuous tucka that was followed by a convivial lippery. (how do you spell that?) Crow was complaining of a crook back and not to be outdone Dint had a crook gut.

Thank you Eagle and Nest.

On On!

June 8, 2014

CANCER COUNCIL H#SH RUN

MONDAY 3RD NOVEMBER 2014

VENUE: Risdon Brook Dam Risdon Vale
START TIME: 6.30 pm
HARES: Dumb, Dumber & Dumbest
RUNS: A Walk and Run will be set.
COST: $20.00 per head food & grog. All money collected will be paid to the Cancer Council of Tasmania for use in Tasmania. Run fees will be collected by Feathers and Musicman. (Hash Cash H4)

MELBOURNE Poonce will be present on the CUP: night to collect donations.

PS. Southern Water have allowed the Hashers to remain in the Risdon Brook Dam until 9.30 on that night. The gates normally close at 8.30 pm.

June 3, 2014

Run 1721

When: Monday 9^th June @ 1845ish

Where: David St, East Devonport (‘tween Torqay Rd & John St)

Bring: $15 plus torch and sense of humour

Hare: Bald Eagle

On On: Eagles Nest Restaurant.

Run 1720 was well attended with the pack of 14ish pounding the pavement to the first Master Check at Horsehead Creek. From here things took a turn (for the worse) as we went up Dale and down Hill over terrain a caterpillar tractor could not traverse. Of course some of the wankers short cut the meticulously set trail, but as usual the running pack showed dedication (and stupidity) and followed trail right back to the finish. The pack(s) then headed to Tinsel’s for Hot Tomato Soup

(I mean hot!) followed by Big Dogs, Little Dogs and Calender.

A good night was had by all. Thanks be to you Trackka and Tinsel.

On On!

June 1, 2014

Next Week's Run No.1720

When: Monday 2^nd June @ 1845ish

Where: Roberts Car Park, Formby Road. (Just under bridge)

Bring: $15 plus torch and sense of humour

Hare: Trakka

On On: At Tinsel’s Place

Run 1719 was a Fitter and Turner affair.... or maybe that should read Un-fitter at Turners Beach affair. Maggie set a great dough trail within the nooks and crannies of this much sought after location. Again a dismal performance by the walkers who in unison decided to short-cut their trail. But the brave runners battled the elements of rain, hail and sleet to complete their assigned task.

Maggie hosted the on-on at his future beachside residence. Nutritious and tasty tucka was consumed by the pack. What a superb cook. Maggie wouldn’t say who the chef was!

On ya Maggie!!

OFFICE BEARERS

Grandmaster – Flasher Joint masters – Tracka & Tinsel Hash hops – Cheese Hash lip – Gyno Lower lip – Crow Hash cash – Bald Eagle Hash monk – Killer Rig raffle – Crow Hash Flash – Rumpole Hash web – Gone again On sec – Shagadelic Trailmasters – Maggie, Flasher Who needs a Hash Monk, haven't had one for years and the sun still shines...

And incidentally,....

1. HASH HOPS: This is unquestionably the most important position in the hash. The Beermeister has the weighty responsibility of making sure that the lifeblood of hashing is available at each and every hash event. He keeps constant vigilance to find the cheapest spirituous fermenti available, always has coolers in the trunk of his car, cases of beer in his garage, and reliably returns the empty keg to get another full one for the next hash. While this might be a "pain in the ass" job, it's undoubtedly the most important one to the hash.

2. GRAND MASTER: The head hasher. The chairman of the board. The big cheese. The HMFIC. The guiding light. Gispert's legacy. The GM is not simply a figure head for the hash, rather (s)he personifies the hash's character (or lack thereof.) (S)he leads with a dynamic strength that permeates the fabric of the organization. Both directly, and through the hash officers, (s)he gives inspiration, direction, and vision to all. This position ranks only below Beermeister, Hash Cash, Hash Mouth, Hash Flash, and On-Sec in real importance to the hash.

3. HASH HAWKER or HABERDASHER: This is a person who has a flair for fashion, a head for business (who said head?), and the showmanship of P.T. Barnum. (S)he's responsible for the design, procurement, warehousing, merchandising, and vending of items of apparel and various trinkets to the hash. Prior flea market or circus midway experience preferred.

4. HARE RAISER: The Hare Raiser makes sure that there's a hare (or hares) for each hash, and that the start location is known to the On-Sec well in advance of hash day for publicity purposes. The Hare Raiser IS the hare if (s)he can't find anyone else to do it.

5. HASH CASH: The holder of the purse-strings. Someone needs to dash about the start of each hash begging for money. Someone has to keep track of what comes in and what goes out (commonly referred to as "the old in and out.") These generally unappreciated duties fall on the shoulders of the Hash Cash. This trustworthy soul must withstand the whining of the Hares who have overspent, the whimpering of those who forgot their fees, and the interrogations of those who mistakenly think there should be some sort of accounting for hash funds.

6. HASH FLASH: The person who captures for posterity all embarrassing hash moments on film. The hash flash must have an acute sense of the absurd to know what to take photos of, and also a small degree of reliability to bring a camera, film, take pictures, have them developed and put only the finest thereof into the sacred photo album.

7. HASH HARLOT: A trashy wench who has seen the dark side of hashing... and likes it! One with a lust for life who, revels in being the butt of the jester's ribald wit, the object of the songster's bawdy lyric, and the centrepiece of sensual repartee at all hash functions.

8. TRAIL MASTER or HASH HORN: Equipment requirements: A bugle or other appropriate wind instrument. Performance venue: The hash trail. Musical ability: Optional.

9. LIP : The hash mouth runs the official business at the On-On with an iron hand. (S)he must be loud, clear, passionate, articulate, humorous and possess an uncommon ability to think on his feet. It also helps if (s)he speaks English.

10. HASHIT KEEPER: This is arguably the most complicated position within the hash hierarchy. The responsibility surrounds custody of a large cardboard box (or entire house) filled with the flotsam and jetsam of past hashes. Precisely why this crap is retained is a mystery shrouded in the mythology of hashdom. However, the hashit itself rarely makes it to the hash, although the custodian is usually there himself. This reinforces the argument that remembering to bring the hashit is probably beyond the cognitive ability of your average hasher.

11. ON-SEC: This position is the masochist's dream. (S)he struggles with piles of paper, miles of computer wire, and might attempt to occasionally produce a Hound Directory or Hash Trash to keep the hash members somewhat informed. (S)he is the principal "outside" representative maintaining the Harrier.Net Worldwide WebSite, the hash membership data base. Boring stuff to say the least.

12. RELIGIOUS ADVISOR: Keeper of the faith. Enforcer of the scriptures. This is the hasher who has seen the light (Bud light) and can taste in his soul the true spirit of Hashing. The religious advisor spreads the word and inspires the zest and zeal of the hash in all participants. Any hasher found transgressing the spirit of hashing is disciplined by the RA. (S)e is the keeper of the sacred Laws of Hashing and comes up with sufficiently plausible lies to cover any serious questions of propriety of actions within the hash.

13. SONGMEISTER: This is a hasher with no self-respect. (S)he never lacks for a song suitable to the occasion. His songs are risqué, lewd, and vulgar. The Songmeister speaks with other hashers and hashes to acquire songs to add to the hash hymnal. The mission is to explore new tunes and new celebrations. To boldly go where no Songmeister has gone before (pardon the split infinitive.)