Devonport Hash House Harriers: March 2016

March 30, 2016

Next Week’s Run No 1817

Next Week’s Run No 1817

Hare’s Apparent: Tracka & Tinsel

When: Monday 4^th April @ 6.30 for 6.45 take-off

Where: Bell’s Parade, Latrobe

Bring: Torch and warm clothing

Run No 1816

Fifteen Hashers gathered at Scurrah Street for a feisty foray.

(in the warmth of the gas heater we wanted to stay)

We trecked under the Underpass as quiet as mice

then along the highway for kilometres thrice.

Then up the banks and across a paddock,

(and for the on-on we didn’t have haddock.)

Poor Flasher got caught in an electric fence

and “flashes” ensued for some moments hence.

Eventually all returned to FC’s

for gourmet stew without any peas.

Rhubarb and apple topped with ice cream

was just what we needed to boost our esteem.

Down downs ensued and raffle won,

it was all over before it begun.

Crow has the hub for run 1817 –

if he don’t wear it he won’t go to heaven.

Thanks FC

Receding Hareline:

Run 1818: 11/04 Bastard TBA

Run 1819 18/04 Soff TBA

Run 1820 25/04 GV TBA

Trailmaster Dint is looking for Hares for May. Please consider.

March 24, 2016

Run 1814 Report

Due to the Basslink Cable being in a state of non-function Lantern had to re-route the Hash because of excess water flow in the Wilmot River. We therefore have something to thank Basslink for, because we didn’t get our shoes wet.

Lantern’s trail roughly followed the river downstream before heading for the hills. We gained altitude so quickly that Eagle’s nose bled and Overdose had to take big breaths. Then a sudden descent down a Mountain Bike Trail over ramps, jumps, logs, roots and sliding ironstone pebbles. To the delight of all the daring dashers the trail came out of the jungle to the smell of Lantern’s delectable delicacies roasting on the portable oven and a welcoming fire.

What a feast!! (Lantern is taking reservations for any upcoming hasher’s wedding reception catering)

Lip FC conducted his usual Lippery with Bastard being awarded The Hub for not wearing it. (I think). Tracka’s raffle held Hashers breathless while the lottery was overseen by the duty government supervisors.

Thank you Lantern.

On On!!

Run No. 1815 - 28th March

Hare FC will be setting from 4 Scurrah St. Ulverstone. Usual start time of 6.30ish. No special instructions other than bring left over Easter Eggs!

March 17, 2016

Run No 1814:

Monday 21 March @ 6.30 - bring a change of shoes and a torch, just in case.

Lantern is taking us back to Paloona Dam Road again. Hopefully he will have better weather and won't get his trail washed away minutes after setting it.

Same place as last week, about 1km up the Paloona Dam Road. On-On will be back at Lantern's place. If the weather is horrible again, just go straight to Lantern's.

March 10, 2016

Run No. 1813

Run No. 1813: Monday 14th is a rehash of Eweturn's Paloona Dam Burnie Run from a few weeks back. Run starts about 1km up the Paloona Dam Road at 6.30pm. Bring a torch because it might get a bit dark in the wild. On on back at Eweturn's @ 66 Turners Beach Rd.

March 2, 2016

Run No 1811 was also Leap Year R*n No 6 and was hosted by the Phantom Hasher. The Phantom Hasher had obviously been working on the run for the last four years, because he put in a magnificent effort and lead the pack on a 7.5km commando course across the Don Heads. Obstacles included electric fences that had to be rolled under, cliffs that had to be crawled up and trains that had to be dodged. But if the penguins could do it, so could we.

The raffle was run. Not sure who won, apart from Eweturn who drew her own ticket with the help of ticket counting skills, and then fairly and squarely had her ticket drawn again. So she didn't feel too bad about it for very long.

The on-on was catered for by Dominos. The Lip had the night off. The hub wasn't spotted.

Guardy is still away but you will still receive your Sunday Texts from his outdated mobile phone.

Next Weeks Run:

No 1812: Boner from TBA

OFFICE BEARERS

Grandmaster – Flasher Joint masters – Tracka & Tinsel Hash hops – Cheese Hash lip – Gyno Lower lip – Crow Hash cash – Bald Eagle Hash monk – Killer Rig raffle – Crow Hash Flash – Rumpole Hash web – Gone again On sec – Shagadelic Trailmasters – Maggie, Flasher Who needs a Hash Monk, haven't had one for years and the sun still shines...

And incidentally,....

1. HASH HOPS: This is unquestionably the most important position in the hash. The Beermeister has the weighty responsibility of making sure that the lifeblood of hashing is available at each and every hash event. He keeps constant vigilance to find the cheapest spirituous fermenti available, always has coolers in the trunk of his car, cases of beer in his garage, and reliably returns the empty keg to get another full one for the next hash. While this might be a "pain in the ass" job, it's undoubtedly the most important one to the hash.

2. GRAND MASTER: The head hasher. The chairman of the board. The big cheese. The HMFIC. The guiding light. Gispert's legacy. The GM is not simply a figure head for the hash, rather (s)he personifies the hash's character (or lack thereof.) (S)he leads with a dynamic strength that permeates the fabric of the organization. Both directly, and through the hash officers, (s)he gives inspiration, direction, and vision to all. This position ranks only below Beermeister, Hash Cash, Hash Mouth, Hash Flash, and On-Sec in real importance to the hash.

3. HASH HAWKER or HABERDASHER: This is a person who has a flair for fashion, a head for business (who said head?), and the showmanship of P.T. Barnum. (S)he's responsible for the design, procurement, warehousing, merchandising, and vending of items of apparel and various trinkets to the hash. Prior flea market or circus midway experience preferred.

4. HARE RAISER: The Hare Raiser makes sure that there's a hare (or hares) for each hash, and that the start location is known to the On-Sec well in advance of hash day for publicity purposes. The Hare Raiser IS the hare if (s)he can't find anyone else to do it.

5. HASH CASH: The holder of the purse-strings. Someone needs to dash about the start of each hash begging for money. Someone has to keep track of what comes in and what goes out (commonly referred to as "the old in and out.") These generally unappreciated duties fall on the shoulders of the Hash Cash. This trustworthy soul must withstand the whining of the Hares who have overspent, the whimpering of those who forgot their fees, and the interrogations of those who mistakenly think there should be some sort of accounting for hash funds.

6. HASH FLASH: The person who captures for posterity all embarrassing hash moments on film. The hash flash must have an acute sense of the absurd to know what to take photos of, and also a small degree of reliability to bring a camera, film, take pictures, have them developed and put only the finest thereof into the sacred photo album.

7. HASH HARLOT: A trashy wench who has seen the dark side of hashing... and likes it! One with a lust for life who, revels in being the butt of the jester's ribald wit, the object of the songster's bawdy lyric, and the centrepiece of sensual repartee at all hash functions.

8. TRAIL MASTER or HASH HORN: Equipment requirements: A bugle or other appropriate wind instrument. Performance venue: The hash trail. Musical ability: Optional.

9. LIP : The hash mouth runs the official business at the On-On with an iron hand. (S)he must be loud, clear, passionate, articulate, humorous and possess an uncommon ability to think on his feet. It also helps if (s)he speaks English.

10. HASHIT KEEPER: This is arguably the most complicated position within the hash hierarchy. The responsibility surrounds custody of a large cardboard box (or entire house) filled with the flotsam and jetsam of past hashes. Precisely why this crap is retained is a mystery shrouded in the mythology of hashdom. However, the hashit itself rarely makes it to the hash, although the custodian is usually there himself. This reinforces the argument that remembering to bring the hashit is probably beyond the cognitive ability of your average hasher.

11. ON-SEC: This position is the masochist's dream. (S)he struggles with piles of paper, miles of computer wire, and might attempt to occasionally produce a Hound Directory or Hash Trash to keep the hash members somewhat informed. (S)he is the principal "outside" representative maintaining the Harrier.Net Worldwide WebSite, the hash membership data base. Boring stuff to say the least.

12. RELIGIOUS ADVISOR: Keeper of the faith. Enforcer of the scriptures. This is the hasher who has seen the light (Bud light) and can taste in his soul the true spirit of Hashing. The religious advisor spreads the word and inspires the zest and zeal of the hash in all participants. Any hasher found transgressing the spirit of hashing is disciplined by the RA. (S)e is the keeper of the sacred Laws of Hashing and comes up with sufficiently plausible lies to cover any serious questions of propriety of actions within the hash.

13. SONGMEISTER: This is a hasher with no self-respect. (S)he never lacks for a song suitable to the occasion. His songs are risqué, lewd, and vulgar. The Songmeister speaks with other hashers and hashes to acquire songs to add to the hash hymnal. The mission is to explore new tunes and new celebrations. To boldly go where no Songmeister has gone before (pardon the split infinitive.)