Devonport Hash House Harriers

November 20, 2014

Run 1745

Confirming next Monday night's run is at Soff & Landing's place at 40 Esplanade, Turners Beach.

Continuing our trial to ascertain "expected" attendees, you will receive a text on Sunday 'arvo asking to reply "yes" if you think you will be there. If "no" ~ don't reply.

Run 1744

FC was our host and set a graffiti trail of pink fluorescent paint in the form of Aboriginal Artwork dotted on trees. Firstly we navigated down into the valley where nobody goes, we found a young lady without any clothes, along comes a hasher all tattered and torn ... I forget the rest .... Some of us found a Master Check before we started ascending Mt Gillam. Through scrubland we hashed to find a black track and another Master Check. Some enterprising hashers had already left before the pack arrived. They were anxious to continue to the summit as they were sensing the possibility of transfiguration before a heavenly ascension. It didn't happen!! A rest at Wealth Corner enable the pack to regroup before descending through the spud paddock to another "dam" master check. Onwards the pink spots appeared before our eyes to find the HHH emblazed on a Eucalyptus Obliqua. Returning back to the Hash House F had organised a convivial on-on around a mimosa fire. It was good to welcome back mattress. Tracka conducted the "lipperary" and somehow Crow managed to convince the assembled that he was worthy of the hub... Thank you FC. Well done!!

Photo as depicted is by courtesy of Cradle Coast Tours and sponsored by Eden Moore Joinery.

GV.

November 16, 2014

Up and Cummin

Run When Who Where

1745 24/11/2014 Soff 40 Esplanade, Turners Beach

1746 01/12/2014 Tracka Port Sorell

1747 08/12/2014. Foghorn T/B/A

1748 15/12/2014 Boner (GV setting) 2/2 Wrights Rd, U'stone (off Trevor St)

1749 22/12/2014 Cheese (Christmas Run) Amherst St West Ulverstone

1750 29/12/2014 Bastard TBA

1751 04/01/2015 Crow (wet t/shirt run) Oz Rock Inn

1754 25/01/2015 Ratchet & Knickers (TBC) Port Sorell

FCs turn

Salutations Fellow Hashers,

Triple Top excelled as usual with her run on Monday night. The walkers partook of a variable course through scrub and suburbia while the runners had their ups and downs. Actually it was Fanny May who had her ups and downs despite warnings from the hare.

Thank you Triple Top. A hostess with the mostess!

Next Monday’s Hash is under the control of FC from 190 Stubbs Road, via Turners Beach. And as a trial would you please indicate if you may be attending by texting your Hash Name and “Yes” or “No” to Guardsvan on 0417398235 by 12 Noon Monday.

This will assist the hare with catering. It is an indication only and not a commitment.

Thanks,

Assistant Trailmaster

November 4, 2014

Next Week's Hash; KISS

Run No 1743 will be from The Dell Luck Reserve near The Don Railway at usual hash time. This will be the AGM. As Grand Mattress Thrust is unable to attend, she has already anointed Black Tracka as her successor.

Run Organiser Triple Top has declared this a KISS run (keep it simple stupid). As I am throwing out the flour I am not sure what she is trying to say.

The Receding Hareline will be released in a separate "post".

Report on Run 1742.

11 walkers and 5 runners fronted for Dint's Expanding Universe Theory trail which "expanded" in ever increasing spirals with the Hash House as the nucleus. The walkers headed home from one of the inner loops while the runners continued on their ever developing helix including The Caroline Street Inclinator. They eventually imploded at the HHH and free fell back to the Hash House to enjoy a Pinks Bits spread of universal proportions. An entertaining Foggie liperary followed including a welcome to fist time hasher Sniffa. Dint was the recipient of the hub for reasons I do not recall.

Well done Koff and Dint. A sum of $300 was donated to The Cancer Council as a result of your efforts.

On On

November 2, 2014

Showus yer Pink bits!

Whoops, GA never posted this for Dint...

LAST NIGHT – Crab set a trail from Otto’s Grotto around the foreshore, through Fairway Park, where runners and walkers split. It was a very windy night and runners lost trail near paedophile's paradise (Sacred Heart Primary School). After a bit of searching they all said “fuck Crab,” and returned to the hut at Otto’s Grotto, where Crab insisted trail went through the school grounds, despite a new sign saying it was not a thorough fare and trespassers would be prosecuted, and the rest of the trail must have blown away. We all said “bullshit,” and adjourned for some of the best sausages Crab has ever supplied – pizza and garlic bread.

Crab kept with the Italian theme and also provided Neapolitan ice cream (with crushed nuts) for dessert. In the absence of the lip (Foghorn) and lower lip (Bedpan), Crow usurped Koff’s authority (lower, lower lip) and conducted the lippery. Numerous down downs were administered – none of them for anything worth remembering, apart from Phay Wray visiting from Burnie (with Harley – dog, not bike) in tow. Phay Wray labelled Devonport a “boys club” despite Koff, Tinsel, and Ewe Turn being present, so we told her to show us her tits or fuck off. She did neither, so we gave her a down down, which she complained was too cold and tasted of too much beer (unlike Burnie’s brew, which tastes of too much ginger beer).

The lippery was conducted with the usual volume, which scared Harley, only because the Burnie Hash runs are such quiet and boring events and he wasn’t used to all the excitement. After the lippery, Crow conducted a rigged raffle, handing out junk, prizes gathered on his recent trip to Vanuatu. Unfortunately, the tickets were free, so we couldn’t ask for a refund. However, we decided we should ban hashers from future overseas trips, based on the quality prizes we seem to get when they return.
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NEXT WEEK’S RUN – Show us Your Pink Bits Run
at 14 Church St, East Devonport, usual hash time.

Koff and Dint’s annual (well, it is now because we’ve claimed it) pink themed run. Please wear something pink and encourage as many hashers as possible to attend – all run fees for the night will be donated to the Cancer Council Tasmania. As was the case food will also be themed pink (including half-cooked meat, which will be pink in the middle). If you haven’t seen our pink food before, it’s worth a look - and you can probably look at it again the next day when you bring it back up. On,On – Dint

Donate NOW

OFFICE BEARERS

Grandmaster – Flasher Joint masters – Tracka & Tinsel Hash hops – Cheese Hash lip – Gyno Lower lip – Crow Hash cash – Bald Eagle Hash monk – Killer Rig raffle – Crow Hash Flash – Rumpole Hash web – Gone again On sec – Shagadelic Trailmasters – Maggie, Flasher Who needs a Hash Monk, haven't had one for years and the sun still shines...

And incidentally,....

1. HASH HOPS: This is unquestionably the most important position in the hash. The Beermeister has the weighty responsibility of making sure that the lifeblood of hashing is available at each and every hash event. He keeps constant vigilance to find the cheapest spirituous fermenti available, always has coolers in the trunk of his car, cases of beer in his garage, and reliably returns the empty keg to get another full one for the next hash. While this might be a "pain in the ass" job, it's undoubtedly the most important one to the hash.

2. GRAND MASTER: The head hasher. The chairman of the board. The big cheese. The HMFIC. The guiding light. Gispert's legacy. The GM is not simply a figure head for the hash, rather (s)he personifies the hash's character (or lack thereof.) (S)he leads with a dynamic strength that permeates the fabric of the organization. Both directly, and through the hash officers, (s)he gives inspiration, direction, and vision to all. This position ranks only below Beermeister, Hash Cash, Hash Mouth, Hash Flash, and On-Sec in real importance to the hash.

3. HASH HAWKER or HABERDASHER: This is a person who has a flair for fashion, a head for business (who said head?), and the showmanship of P.T. Barnum. (S)he's responsible for the design, procurement, warehousing, merchandising, and vending of items of apparel and various trinkets to the hash. Prior flea market or circus midway experience preferred.

4. HARE RAISER: The Hare Raiser makes sure that there's a hare (or hares) for each hash, and that the start location is known to the On-Sec well in advance of hash day for publicity purposes. The Hare Raiser IS the hare if (s)he can't find anyone else to do it.

5. HASH CASH: The holder of the purse-strings. Someone needs to dash about the start of each hash begging for money. Someone has to keep track of what comes in and what goes out (commonly referred to as "the old in and out.") These generally unappreciated duties fall on the shoulders of the Hash Cash. This trustworthy soul must withstand the whining of the Hares who have overspent, the whimpering of those who forgot their fees, and the interrogations of those who mistakenly think there should be some sort of accounting for hash funds.

6. HASH FLASH: The person who captures for posterity all embarrassing hash moments on film. The hash flash must have an acute sense of the absurd to know what to take photos of, and also a small degree of reliability to bring a camera, film, take pictures, have them developed and put only the finest thereof into the sacred photo album.

7. HASH HARLOT: A trashy wench who has seen the dark side of hashing... and likes it! One with a lust for life who, revels in being the butt of the jester's ribald wit, the object of the songster's bawdy lyric, and the centrepiece of sensual repartee at all hash functions.

8. TRAIL MASTER or HASH HORN: Equipment requirements: A bugle or other appropriate wind instrument. Performance venue: The hash trail. Musical ability: Optional.

9. LIP : The hash mouth runs the official business at the On-On with an iron hand. (S)he must be loud, clear, passionate, articulate, humorous and possess an uncommon ability to think on his feet. It also helps if (s)he speaks English.

10. HASHIT KEEPER: This is arguably the most complicated position within the hash hierarchy. The responsibility surrounds custody of a large cardboard box (or entire house) filled with the flotsam and jetsam of past hashes. Precisely why this crap is retained is a mystery shrouded in the mythology of hashdom. However, the hashit itself rarely makes it to the hash, although the custodian is usually there himself. This reinforces the argument that remembering to bring the hashit is probably beyond the cognitive ability of your average hasher.

11. ON-SEC: This position is the masochist's dream. (S)he struggles with piles of paper, miles of computer wire, and might attempt to occasionally produce a Hound Directory or Hash Trash to keep the hash members somewhat informed. (S)he is the principal "outside" representative maintaining the Harrier.Net Worldwide WebSite, the hash membership data base. Boring stuff to say the least.

12. RELIGIOUS ADVISOR: Keeper of the faith. Enforcer of the scriptures. This is the hasher who has seen the light (Bud light) and can taste in his soul the true spirit of Hashing. The religious advisor spreads the word and inspires the zest and zeal of the hash in all participants. Any hasher found transgressing the spirit of hashing is disciplined by the RA. (S)e is the keeper of the sacred Laws of Hashing and comes up with sufficiently plausible lies to cover any serious questions of propriety of actions within the hash.

13. SONGMEISTER: This is a hasher with no self-respect. (S)he never lacks for a song suitable to the occasion. His songs are risqué, lewd, and vulgar. The Songmeister speaks with other hashers and hashes to acquire songs to add to the hash hymnal. The mission is to explore new tunes and new celebrations. To boldly go where no Songmeister has gone before (pardon the split infinitive.)