Devonport Hash House Harriers

June 21, 2011

Bike Envy

Torrential rain preceded Hare Cheese's run, wiping any trace of whatever run he may or may not have set for us. Assuming he was jet-lagged and broke, probably not eaten anything decent for weeks (USA McDonalds and whatever they fed him on the plane), he probably hadn't set much of a trail at all. Besides there was bike viewing to be done!

The rain stopped, and we were quickly handed bits of paper, and off we went. Walkers walked to the 'place where we tell the time' (the Ulverstone Clock) and back again, runners went else-where. It was a miracle none of us got drenched and drowned as there were some serious squalls happening all around us. Qudos to the Hash Monk! Driving home at night revealed lots of debris on the road.

At the OnOn we had Shephards pie and nibblies compliments of Dini the caterer. We had to put up with the smell of Cheese's new bike, and momentarily listen to the finely tuned exhaust when peer pressure made Cheese turn the beast over. The rigged raffle was not rigged enough, I won no prizes, but all the bald, old, ugly bastards did!

Next 'run' is from Parallel Solutions (BlackTrakka's) and assuming it will rain we just need to make our way to the Tenpin Bowling facility down the road.

Let it rain let it rain let it rain....

Download this mp3 from Beemp3.com

June 17, 2011

WARNING: Cheese is back

Back from the US-of-A

That's right folks, our Cheese is back from the USA and is ready to share his newly gained wisdom with anyone who will show up for the run at his place coming Monday 20 June 2011.

BYO USA flag and be at his place in Amherst Street, The Stone.

June 14, 2011

Crab's Gourmet

'Koff is realising that not smoking is stacking on the pounds...

Hash Grub has been scoring high these last few months. Fanny May set the bar very high and everyone is nervous. Captain Crab commanded his wife Juliet into action and as a team they had pre-run nibbles waiting for hungry Hashers. Flasher had set a long run to built up the appetites as only a dozen or so were braving the extreme temperatures and the piles of food Crab was preparing was not going to go to waste. Even the walkers were given a good 5k+ stretch - see RunKeeper's map (link may not work if you are not on Dini's StreetTeam) for Dini, Dyke and GA's walk.

On return we were greeted with foamy alcoholic drinks inspired by the recent Highland Fling. The best BBQ for donkeys, complete with onions, fresh wholemeal bread, and the works followed the cold foam. Coffee and Lamingtons for desert, Port, ice-cream,... In the mean time the mercury plummeted towards zero, Dini had to find more firewood in her car, and Otto's Grotto may well have been an igloo. Flasher was going rampant on the raffle, not stopping till everyone except the biggest losers had a prize.

Winter Solstice is June 21, which is the day after our next run at one of Dyke's domiciles (TBA). So expect even cooler temps as the days are still getting shorter. Bring skates and scarves and watch this space for geographic details.

Full Moon will be celebrated at Hare Puss in Boots' new home in Foot Street, Hadspen next Thursday 16 June 2011AD.

OnOn

NB. Not only was the meat not burned, it truly was Crab's lucky day as he won the only other remaining copy of the garden book that he had already won earlier (and subsequently lost) in a wrigged raffle in summer.

June 9, 2011

Highland Fling this weekend!

That's right! Highland Fling this weekend. Hash Monks are putting in a combined effort to keep the weather out, so why not help them by doing a little rain dance right now.

Anyways, you may also like to know what transpired last Monday. Tracka was due to set a run, and we had all hoped for a cryptic piece of paper and no proper real trail, tons of pizza to help digest our beer and a happy Tracka, but to our surprise Dyke showed up instead. He told us that Tinsel was struck with a bad case of lets just say Tinselitis for now and needed hospitalisation! The good man Tracka is gave Tinsel the time and care a Hasher of her caliber deserved and delegated the run out to Dyke.

A cold long run for the runners, and a merciful marathon for the walkers was what Dyke had in store for us. Tinsel was sick and we were not meant to be happy. After 7+ kilometers the smiles were frozen off our faces and once warmed up at Dyke's abode we dug into the dim-sims. What followed we can only presume was a sign of Dyke's allegiance to Democrat Wiener (who has recently been in the news because of photos of his wiener) inspired him to boil up some wieners for us. With a dash of home made rhubarb pickle, with a dash of chili, it did us well.

The beer was awesome, the raffle was wrigged and the prizes were palatable just like the wieners. OnOn Dyke for rescuing the situation and OnOn to Tracka for being a good husband and we all wish Tinsel a quick recovery and hope to see her come back to Hash soon.

PS.

Next Run from Otto's Grotto, expect burned buggers and a long run. Bring thermals and a smoke mask... BYO Liquor Licence.

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May 31, 2011

Mable misses Dint's run

Mable going to Hash... Original photo by www.deansaffron.com

The cool pack assembled at Koff's and Dint's in an icy East Devonport. GoneAgain wearing barefoot runners and no light was brave to expose himself to the elements with his cough. When Mable failed to show up the pack left.

Walkers got to the second master check where Dint's secret message was to be read. It said something to the effect; 'Why should I bother setting a walkers trail if you c#nts always ignore it... So no special walking trail, and take this as your ON HOME you b#stards' ... The runners did 7+ kms and didn't succumb to frostbite.

The fare waiting for us was again banquetulous, and there appears to be a gourmet trend in Hash happening. Too many unspeakable dishes to name, and only a few takers for the a la carte deserts. I just want some bangers and mash for the next run. Expired and unpalatable chocolates in the rigged raffle complemented by some Cairns souvenirs and riveting CDs.

Maybe Black Tracka will find us some pizzas and beer for next week's run. Meeting at the Glistening Erection at 630pm! Gloves might be of the order.

Dint's pussy...

OFFICE BEARERS

Grandmaster – Flasher Joint masters – Tracka & Tinsel Hash hops – Cheese Hash lip – Gyno Lower lip – Crow Hash cash – Bald Eagle Hash monk – Killer Rig raffle – Crow Hash Flash – Rumpole Hash web – Gone again On sec – Shagadelic Trailmasters – Maggie, Flasher Who needs a Hash Monk, haven't had one for years and the sun still shines...

And incidentally,....

1. HASH HOPS: This is unquestionably the most important position in the hash. The Beermeister has the weighty responsibility of making sure that the lifeblood of hashing is available at each and every hash event. He keeps constant vigilance to find the cheapest spirituous fermenti available, always has coolers in the trunk of his car, cases of beer in his garage, and reliably returns the empty keg to get another full one for the next hash. While this might be a "pain in the ass" job, it's undoubtedly the most important one to the hash.

2. GRAND MASTER: The head hasher. The chairman of the board. The big cheese. The HMFIC. The guiding light. Gispert's legacy. The GM is not simply a figure head for the hash, rather (s)he personifies the hash's character (or lack thereof.) (S)he leads with a dynamic strength that permeates the fabric of the organization. Both directly, and through the hash officers, (s)he gives inspiration, direction, and vision to all. This position ranks only below Beermeister, Hash Cash, Hash Mouth, Hash Flash, and On-Sec in real importance to the hash.

3. HASH HAWKER or HABERDASHER: This is a person who has a flair for fashion, a head for business (who said head?), and the showmanship of P.T. Barnum. (S)he's responsible for the design, procurement, warehousing, merchandising, and vending of items of apparel and various trinkets to the hash. Prior flea market or circus midway experience preferred.

4. HARE RAISER: The Hare Raiser makes sure that there's a hare (or hares) for each hash, and that the start location is known to the On-Sec well in advance of hash day for publicity purposes. The Hare Raiser IS the hare if (s)he can't find anyone else to do it.

5. HASH CASH: The holder of the purse-strings. Someone needs to dash about the start of each hash begging for money. Someone has to keep track of what comes in and what goes out (commonly referred to as "the old in and out.") These generally unappreciated duties fall on the shoulders of the Hash Cash. This trustworthy soul must withstand the whining of the Hares who have overspent, the whimpering of those who forgot their fees, and the interrogations of those who mistakenly think there should be some sort of accounting for hash funds.

6. HASH FLASH: The person who captures for posterity all embarrassing hash moments on film. The hash flash must have an acute sense of the absurd to know what to take photos of, and also a small degree of reliability to bring a camera, film, take pictures, have them developed and put only the finest thereof into the sacred photo album.

7. HASH HARLOT: A trashy wench who has seen the dark side of hashing... and likes it! One with a lust for life who, revels in being the butt of the jester's ribald wit, the object of the songster's bawdy lyric, and the centrepiece of sensual repartee at all hash functions.

8. TRAIL MASTER or HASH HORN: Equipment requirements: A bugle or other appropriate wind instrument. Performance venue: The hash trail. Musical ability: Optional.

9. LIP : The hash mouth runs the official business at the On-On with an iron hand. (S)he must be loud, clear, passionate, articulate, humorous and possess an uncommon ability to think on his feet. It also helps if (s)he speaks English.

10. HASHIT KEEPER: This is arguably the most complicated position within the hash hierarchy. The responsibility surrounds custody of a large cardboard box (or entire house) filled with the flotsam and jetsam of past hashes. Precisely why this crap is retained is a mystery shrouded in the mythology of hashdom. However, the hashit itself rarely makes it to the hash, although the custodian is usually there himself. This reinforces the argument that remembering to bring the hashit is probably beyond the cognitive ability of your average hasher.

11. ON-SEC: This position is the masochist's dream. (S)he struggles with piles of paper, miles of computer wire, and might attempt to occasionally produce a Hound Directory or Hash Trash to keep the hash members somewhat informed. (S)he is the principal "outside" representative maintaining the Harrier.Net Worldwide WebSite, the hash membership data base. Boring stuff to say the least.

12. RELIGIOUS ADVISOR: Keeper of the faith. Enforcer of the scriptures. This is the hasher who has seen the light (Bud light) and can taste in his soul the true spirit of Hashing. The religious advisor spreads the word and inspires the zest and zeal of the hash in all participants. Any hasher found transgressing the spirit of hashing is disciplined by the RA. (S)e is the keeper of the sacred Laws of Hashing and comes up with sufficiently plausible lies to cover any serious questions of propriety of actions within the hash.

13. SONGMEISTER: This is a hasher with no self-respect. (S)he never lacks for a song suitable to the occasion. His songs are risqué, lewd, and vulgar. The Songmeister speaks with other hashers and hashes to acquire songs to add to the hash hymnal. The mission is to explore new tunes and new celebrations. To boldly go where no Songmeister has gone before (pardon the split infinitive.)