Devonport Hash House Harriers

August 7, 2011

Here cums the Fuzz

A small pack engaged in a dampish stroll around Latrobe's north side, studiously avoiding any bits of Black Tracka's trail which were deemed excessively soggy, a danger to sissy white shoes or in any way liable to mess up one's hair. Even the r*nners hashed the guts out of the muddy bits. The on on was removed to the relative comfort of Tinsel's garage for bevies and some great nosh. Dim sims with peas and corn, pasta with peas and corn, and chocolate cake with peas and corn for afters.

The wrigged wraffle had a homespun flavour with Crow taking home the crocheted velcro gloves and PB winning some knitting needles and yarn. She was quick to showcase her earthy country talents, whipping up a knobbly mirkin-warmer in next to no time. Any fool can make a scarf...
This week's r*n is from Lucky B*tch's place, 10 William Street Forth, and will be set by Killer.
On On
Dini

July 27, 2011

Christmas Wrap

Guardsvan set this week's innovative trail using power poles instead of flour - a great idea unless you make a mistake and have to rub out a bit of trail - you'd need a chainsaw...
Runners and walkers were given cards with a list of the pole numbers to find on their trails, and it all worked a treat. Although a false trail is impossible on this sort of run, Dyke still managed to make one and did an extra 3kms for his sins. Perhaps as this was a Christmas themed run, he went in search of the North Pole.
The Forth Pub proved impossible to bypass on the trail home, and Poxy coaxed some drinks out of the formidable bar wench even though she had closed the taps off for the night.
Back at the Guard-house, Santa had a wonderful festive feast laid out. Turkey aplenty (the roasted one, and then there's Dint) and the meal was perfect down to the last detail, served with the best bone handled silver and even cranberry sauce! Lions fruit cake morphed into Plum Duff with the clever addition of randy custard, and there was a vat of Madeira on hand to wash it all down.
Guardy's lippery was quick and quirky, and the hub was awarded but I have no recollection of the lucky recipient. A top raffle, with very few Hashers fortunate enough to avoid winning something. That USA porn has a real fear factor, six hours, I mean, really!!!... just looking at the covers is seriously eeeeiiwwwwww! And none of them are wearing Santa hats.
Well done Guardsvan, a great night - you really are a very curly Hare.
Next week's run is being set by Black Trakka from the Latrobe Library in Gilbert Street, with on afters removed to the Tarleton Road establishment.
On On Dini

July 23, 2011

Events Update Downdate

The bonfire proposed for this evening is now not happening.... maybe Tracka failed to keep his powder dry? and all bangs are off. Someone apologises for any inconvenience caused, but I'm not sure who.

Guildford weekend has been postponed to a year to be determined, but definitely not this year.

The good news is that the Devonport Hash Club will be putting all its efforts into the fabulous Tour de Pisse, scheduled for lift-off on September 17th from the Oz Rock Inn, Ulverstone.

On On Dini

July 20, 2011

The Day After

It was a shell-shocked pack who took to the deserted pathways and beaches of Coles Beach after the holler-caust. Mostly runners, but a dedicated group of strollers, sufficient to warrant the big flour "W" laid by the Hare Poxy after many hills, stairs and loops and even a mastercheck on the beach. PB put on a great spread, sans Muffin but avec Chocolate cake, so she is redeemed. The alphabet soup caused more dyslexia than dyspepsia, and the Pies were winners (unlike the Hawks who had a bye). Guardsvan embraced the lippery like the tart I suspect he is, and no one escaped without a good rogering. Poxy took the Hub again for contributing to the national debt by having the RBA governor buy him lunch.
Next week we are at Guardsvan's establishment in William Street Forth for a celebration of Christmas in Winter. 6.30, Monday 26th July. Wear a Christmas Hat and bring the usual $10, raffle money, odd stockings and extra Christmas spirit if you are a p*sshead.
On On Dini

July 18, 2011

Up Cuming Run

When: Monday 25^th July

What: Christmas in July Run and Feast

Where: 103 William St., Forth

Bring: Christmas hat, $10, Wigged Waffle money and extra grog if you need it.

The turkey is getting fat and the Christmas Pudding is on the boil. The run/walk will require hashers to be able to count to 9 and know and read the alphabet.

Santa will be on hand to assist those who have difficulties.

Happy Christmas.

OFFICE BEARERS

Grandmaster – Flasher Joint masters – Tracka & Tinsel Hash hops – Cheese Hash lip – Gyno Lower lip – Crow Hash cash – Bald Eagle Hash monk – Killer Rig raffle – Crow Hash Flash – Rumpole Hash web – Gone again On sec – Shagadelic Trailmasters – Maggie, Flasher Who needs a Hash Monk, haven't had one for years and the sun still shines...

And incidentally,....

1. HASH HOPS: This is unquestionably the most important position in the hash. The Beermeister has the weighty responsibility of making sure that the lifeblood of hashing is available at each and every hash event. He keeps constant vigilance to find the cheapest spirituous fermenti available, always has coolers in the trunk of his car, cases of beer in his garage, and reliably returns the empty keg to get another full one for the next hash. While this might be a "pain in the ass" job, it's undoubtedly the most important one to the hash.

2. GRAND MASTER: The head hasher. The chairman of the board. The big cheese. The HMFIC. The guiding light. Gispert's legacy. The GM is not simply a figure head for the hash, rather (s)he personifies the hash's character (or lack thereof.) (S)he leads with a dynamic strength that permeates the fabric of the organization. Both directly, and through the hash officers, (s)he gives inspiration, direction, and vision to all. This position ranks only below Beermeister, Hash Cash, Hash Mouth, Hash Flash, and On-Sec in real importance to the hash.

3. HASH HAWKER or HABERDASHER: This is a person who has a flair for fashion, a head for business (who said head?), and the showmanship of P.T. Barnum. (S)he's responsible for the design, procurement, warehousing, merchandising, and vending of items of apparel and various trinkets to the hash. Prior flea market or circus midway experience preferred.

4. HARE RAISER: The Hare Raiser makes sure that there's a hare (or hares) for each hash, and that the start location is known to the On-Sec well in advance of hash day for publicity purposes. The Hare Raiser IS the hare if (s)he can't find anyone else to do it.

5. HASH CASH: The holder of the purse-strings. Someone needs to dash about the start of each hash begging for money. Someone has to keep track of what comes in and what goes out (commonly referred to as "the old in and out.") These generally unappreciated duties fall on the shoulders of the Hash Cash. This trustworthy soul must withstand the whining of the Hares who have overspent, the whimpering of those who forgot their fees, and the interrogations of those who mistakenly think there should be some sort of accounting for hash funds.

6. HASH FLASH: The person who captures for posterity all embarrassing hash moments on film. The hash flash must have an acute sense of the absurd to know what to take photos of, and also a small degree of reliability to bring a camera, film, take pictures, have them developed and put only the finest thereof into the sacred photo album.

7. HASH HARLOT: A trashy wench who has seen the dark side of hashing... and likes it! One with a lust for life who, revels in being the butt of the jester's ribald wit, the object of the songster's bawdy lyric, and the centrepiece of sensual repartee at all hash functions.

8. TRAIL MASTER or HASH HORN: Equipment requirements: A bugle or other appropriate wind instrument. Performance venue: The hash trail. Musical ability: Optional.

9. LIP : The hash mouth runs the official business at the On-On with an iron hand. (S)he must be loud, clear, passionate, articulate, humorous and possess an uncommon ability to think on his feet. It also helps if (s)he speaks English.

10. HASHIT KEEPER: This is arguably the most complicated position within the hash hierarchy. The responsibility surrounds custody of a large cardboard box (or entire house) filled with the flotsam and jetsam of past hashes. Precisely why this crap is retained is a mystery shrouded in the mythology of hashdom. However, the hashit itself rarely makes it to the hash, although the custodian is usually there himself. This reinforces the argument that remembering to bring the hashit is probably beyond the cognitive ability of your average hasher.

11. ON-SEC: This position is the masochist's dream. (S)he struggles with piles of paper, miles of computer wire, and might attempt to occasionally produce a Hound Directory or Hash Trash to keep the hash members somewhat informed. (S)he is the principal "outside" representative maintaining the Harrier.Net Worldwide WebSite, the hash membership data base. Boring stuff to say the least.

12. RELIGIOUS ADVISOR: Keeper of the faith. Enforcer of the scriptures. This is the hasher who has seen the light (Bud light) and can taste in his soul the true spirit of Hashing. The religious advisor spreads the word and inspires the zest and zeal of the hash in all participants. Any hasher found transgressing the spirit of hashing is disciplined by the RA. (S)e is the keeper of the sacred Laws of Hashing and comes up with sufficiently plausible lies to cover any serious questions of propriety of actions within the hash.

13. SONGMEISTER: This is a hasher with no self-respect. (S)he never lacks for a song suitable to the occasion. His songs are risqué, lewd, and vulgar. The Songmeister speaks with other hashers and hashes to acquire songs to add to the hash hymnal. The mission is to explore new tunes and new celebrations. To boldly go where no Songmeister has gone before (pardon the split infinitive.)