Devonport Hash House Harriers

May 15, 2014

Infiltrating the Academy

Quality and not quantity is an apt description for the pack that assembled at Hiscutt Park. (with the exception of eight!)

Trail dispersed in two direction from the starting check. Dint decided to ignore the trail and went off on his own jaunt and found a close-by Master Check. But the rest of the pack ignored his call and kept on the trails(s). Long false uphill trails were a “Barsted” but after some time Dint decided to join the rest of the pack and then we were back to a “Smog Pack”. That is, until we got back to a trail diversion for the walkers.

Maggiethoras interpreted “W” to mean “(R)unners”. He felt all alone and lost. Anyway we all eventually finished got back to where we started.

We were joined by Flasher at the On-On at Pioneer and B’sted’s Stew and Chicken Drumsticks with lashings of mashed potatoes. (Yummy!)

Down Downs were administered to all and sundry for very good reasons (?) Doodle-doo had a farewell down pre-embarking on a stint at the Police Academy. A good time was had by all. Thanks to Bastard, Pioneer and Doddle-doo.

Flasher confirmed next week’s run is starting from car-park behind Furners Hotel inn Ulverstone.

On On !
Guardsvan

PS Fanny May advises that if she can get a lift to Flasher's run she will resurrect the beloved wrigged raffle - so bring a few coins if you'd like to receive a fabulous prize, ha! And also,.... FM's daughter will be undercover for Hash at the Police Academy to make sure Cockadoodledee will be on best behaviour and will report back for us!

May 9, 2014

Starlit Stunts in the Stone

From: Malcolm Murray
Date: 7 May 2014 20:27
Subject: Run Report

About 15 hashers enjoyed a starlit stunt around the streets of ‘stone. Master Checks were spaced to indicate the fitness of Hare Crow. 3 ½ runners took on the task of following the baby h’s. Actually one runner took on that task and the others followed.

The walkers as usual made their own rules. Only the dogged FC and Tracka completed the flour phenomena ... even if they had difficulty finding the HHH. After a long wait for Tracka and FC the On-On proceeded. Soup preceded a main course of “Crow’s Customary Concoctions”. Lip Foggy put in his usual theatrical performance before his departure next week to somewhere more Chille. In her absence The Hub remained in the custody of Bed Pan.

The news of the night was that Dint now claims to have a good foot and Maggie exposed his algebraic knowledge by quoting Pythagoras (a2 + b2) = c2. All we wanted to know was the shortest way home from the HHH!!!

Thanks Crow for a great night.

Receding Hare-line:
12/05 B’stard from Hiscutt Park, Penguin (near The Windmill)
19/05 Flasher from T/B/A (been there before)
26/5 Maggie from Turners Beach

Applications are now being received for potential hosts for June Runs. No experience necessary!

Guardsvan

May 4, 2014

Burnie Hash cummin to town

Mothers Day 11th May 2014.

Burnie Hash this Sunday meets at the church of St Urang in Hamilton St. Latrobe 3.30 pm. On-on at Trakka's house in Tarleton Rd. Bring a plate of food to share and the usual wrigged wraffle money; a joke and a friend.

Contacts: Rob "Ringo" Munden 0417118661 or Caroline " A Bit of This" Waterhouse 0428592420.

May 2, 2014

FC & Ere's Scurrah Street Run, Monday 28th April

Had a nice Hash run at Scurrah Street and it was nice to be able to host it with Jules who as usual tried to do too much (she is reasonably well at present).
The burgers seemed to fill the void and it was good to catch up with old & new hash friends.
Must organise a pilgrimage to Broken Hill Hash sometime!
ONONONON FC

From all accounts everyone had a fabulous night
FM

for crowing out loud

Thrust got summoned to the mainland to attend to urgent family matters and can't set the run.

Next run now set from Crow's place in Ulverstone's OzRock cafe.

No run report from last week's run at FC but never to late for anyone to crow about it.

GA

OFFICE BEARERS

Grandmaster – Flasher Joint masters – Tracka & Tinsel Hash hops – Cheese Hash lip – Gyno Lower lip – Crow Hash cash – Bald Eagle Hash monk – Killer Rig raffle – Crow Hash Flash – Rumpole Hash web – Gone again On sec – Shagadelic Trailmasters – Maggie, Flasher Who needs a Hash Monk, haven't had one for years and the sun still shines...

And incidentally,....

1. HASH HOPS: This is unquestionably the most important position in the hash. The Beermeister has the weighty responsibility of making sure that the lifeblood of hashing is available at each and every hash event. He keeps constant vigilance to find the cheapest spirituous fermenti available, always has coolers in the trunk of his car, cases of beer in his garage, and reliably returns the empty keg to get another full one for the next hash. While this might be a "pain in the ass" job, it's undoubtedly the most important one to the hash.

2. GRAND MASTER: The head hasher. The chairman of the board. The big cheese. The HMFIC. The guiding light. Gispert's legacy. The GM is not simply a figure head for the hash, rather (s)he personifies the hash's character (or lack thereof.) (S)he leads with a dynamic strength that permeates the fabric of the organization. Both directly, and through the hash officers, (s)he gives inspiration, direction, and vision to all. This position ranks only below Beermeister, Hash Cash, Hash Mouth, Hash Flash, and On-Sec in real importance to the hash.

3. HASH HAWKER or HABERDASHER: This is a person who has a flair for fashion, a head for business (who said head?), and the showmanship of P.T. Barnum. (S)he's responsible for the design, procurement, warehousing, merchandising, and vending of items of apparel and various trinkets to the hash. Prior flea market or circus midway experience preferred.

4. HARE RAISER: The Hare Raiser makes sure that there's a hare (or hares) for each hash, and that the start location is known to the On-Sec well in advance of hash day for publicity purposes. The Hare Raiser IS the hare if (s)he can't find anyone else to do it.

5. HASH CASH: The holder of the purse-strings. Someone needs to dash about the start of each hash begging for money. Someone has to keep track of what comes in and what goes out (commonly referred to as "the old in and out.") These generally unappreciated duties fall on the shoulders of the Hash Cash. This trustworthy soul must withstand the whining of the Hares who have overspent, the whimpering of those who forgot their fees, and the interrogations of those who mistakenly think there should be some sort of accounting for hash funds.

6. HASH FLASH: The person who captures for posterity all embarrassing hash moments on film. The hash flash must have an acute sense of the absurd to know what to take photos of, and also a small degree of reliability to bring a camera, film, take pictures, have them developed and put only the finest thereof into the sacred photo album.

7. HASH HARLOT: A trashy wench who has seen the dark side of hashing... and likes it! One with a lust for life who, revels in being the butt of the jester's ribald wit, the object of the songster's bawdy lyric, and the centrepiece of sensual repartee at all hash functions.

8. TRAIL MASTER or HASH HORN: Equipment requirements: A bugle or other appropriate wind instrument. Performance venue: The hash trail. Musical ability: Optional.

9. LIP : The hash mouth runs the official business at the On-On with an iron hand. (S)he must be loud, clear, passionate, articulate, humorous and possess an uncommon ability to think on his feet. It also helps if (s)he speaks English.

10. HASHIT KEEPER: This is arguably the most complicated position within the hash hierarchy. The responsibility surrounds custody of a large cardboard box (or entire house) filled with the flotsam and jetsam of past hashes. Precisely why this crap is retained is a mystery shrouded in the mythology of hashdom. However, the hashit itself rarely makes it to the hash, although the custodian is usually there himself. This reinforces the argument that remembering to bring the hashit is probably beyond the cognitive ability of your average hasher.

11. ON-SEC: This position is the masochist's dream. (S)he struggles with piles of paper, miles of computer wire, and might attempt to occasionally produce a Hound Directory or Hash Trash to keep the hash members somewhat informed. (S)he is the principal "outside" representative maintaining the Harrier.Net Worldwide WebSite, the hash membership data base. Boring stuff to say the least.

12. RELIGIOUS ADVISOR: Keeper of the faith. Enforcer of the scriptures. This is the hasher who has seen the light (Bud light) and can taste in his soul the true spirit of Hashing. The religious advisor spreads the word and inspires the zest and zeal of the hash in all participants. Any hasher found transgressing the spirit of hashing is disciplined by the RA. (S)e is the keeper of the sacred Laws of Hashing and comes up with sufficiently plausible lies to cover any serious questions of propriety of actions within the hash.

13. SONGMEISTER: This is a hasher with no self-respect. (S)he never lacks for a song suitable to the occasion. His songs are risqué, lewd, and vulgar. The Songmeister speaks with other hashers and hashes to acquire songs to add to the hash hymnal. The mission is to explore new tunes and new celebrations. To boldly go where no Songmeister has gone before (pardon the split infinitive.)