January 24, 2012

Aussie Bike R*n

The sleepy holiday town of Port Sorell didn't stir as the convoy of motorcycles burbled its way to the rotunda. The township dozed in the hazy warmth as the pack de-leathered, called itself to order and headed off on trail. Down to Panatana Rivulet, past the boats lying all akimbo in the mud, across the bridge, through the desiccated reedy bushland of she-oak and banksia to a Mastercheck, and at last On Home through the streets to the park. Peace reigned as the pack was fed and watered admirably by Hare Ratchet and his barmy catering army. Cash was taken and raffle tickets sold with barely a murmur. Eerily quiet.

At last the lippery was called to order, and the decibels rose as Dint (Gispert Bless Him) stood and delivered his best and worst, irreverently incinerating the Burnie Trash, riling up the likes of Koff to fire her furiously smoking barbs back at him, playing High Beam like a fiddle to extract the high notes, baiting Pioneer to unleash her amazing tact (almost equal to that of the common housebrick), and of course ritually punishing the Hare for his very existence with a small cup of brew. In the midst of the melee, it was reassuring to see that the little man who came and stared at the excessively rowdy pack last year was again hovering in the shrubbery ready to whinge to the authorities about the noise and his loss of amenity. All was well with the world! Goodness knows, Hash has a reputation to uphold! The raffle muffled the noise again somewhat as everyone stopped squawking and rummaged busily for their tickets to prove they had not won the Panetone cake, but definitely had the right one to win the Kinder Surprise.

There was a poultice of birthdays to celebrate - Mullet, Ringo and Cheese (plus Tinsel, had she been in attendance) marked with some very bad singing and a stodgy cake covered in candles and saliva. After heated competition from those theiving Burnie Hashers, Dint presented Cheese with the Hub as a 40th birthday gift.

Next week's r*n is the magnificent and fabulous 1600th, starting from the Oz Rock Inn, Ulverstone and featuring Adam and Eve, so get your Asp along at 6.30 Monday 30th January, and don't forget the fig leaves.

ed. YES, MAKE SURE YOU DRESS UP, Snakes, Apples, Garden of Eden, or just a simple (but large) Fig Leave or two will do!

On! On!

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