December 14, 2008

Up and cumming….

From the Shameless Division of Cheating the following content was lifted from Burnie's Trash :

December 15th, Monday 6.30 pm—Devonport HHH next r*n set by Bastard
from just south of the Motorcross Track, Dial Road Penguin. On On will be at
Pioneer’s place, Adina Court, Penguin. Bring DH3 usual necessities ($10,
g-string, matching sox, Hub, girlie drinks, pegs, fubar).

December 21st, Sunday 5.30pm—Burnie HHH Red White and Furry
Christmas r*n set by Phay Wray and Urang from the southern (Jones Street)
end of the car park behind the Civic Centre. Dress in your best festive attire,
bring a $5 wrapped present and Christmas food to share. On On will be at
the King Komm Retirement Village, 457 Mooreville Road, Burnie.

December 22nd, Monday 6.30 pm— Christmas R*n,
details TBA,.

Melbourne Zoo had acquired a female of a very rare species of gorilla.
Within a few weeks, the gorilla became very cantankerous and difficult to handle. Upon examination,
the Zoo veterinarian determined the problem.
The Gorilla was on heat..
To make matters worse, there were no male gorillas of the species available.
While reflecting on their problem, the Zoo management noticed Graham, a big Kiwi lad & former
All Black, responsible for fixing the Zoo's machinery. Graham, like most Kiwis, seemed to be
possessed with ample ability to satisfy a female of any species.. So the Zoo administrators
thought they might have a solution.
Graham was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to have Sex with the gorilla for
$500?
Graham showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.
The following day, Graham announced that he would accept their offer, but only under three
conditions:
'Fust,' he said, 'I don't want to have to kuss er.'
'Sicondly, you must niver niver tull anyone about thus.'
The Zoo administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they asked what his third
condition was.
'Wull,' said Graham, 'You gotta give me another week to come up with the $500.
  • January 31st, 2009, Saturday — H4 2000th R*n @ The Lea Scout Camp. Further details and online registrations at www.h4.org.au
  • February 6—8, 2009 — NZ Nash Hash, Rootaroa
  • February 14th, 2009 Saturday—Valentines Day Red Dress R*n, Hobart, supporting Cystic Fibrosis Tasmania. Sixty Five Roses could get you the Valentine of your dreams (in a red dress with hairy legs), plus a great day out.
  • February 20th-22nd, 2009—Swine 09 Pig Pen Run @ Nugent.
  • May 1-3, 2009, Fri-Sun — Aussie Nash Hash @ Cairns - registrations now $350 until March 31st 2009.
  • June 6-8th, 2009—The Highland Fling @ TBA
  • June 21st, 2009—Burnie Hash House Harriers 1000th R*n— it’s bound to be a long night...
  • July 1-4, 2010—Sarawak Rainforest Interhash @ Kuching, Borneo.
Of course you can just read the Trash yourself, directly from the horse's mouth, complete with a run report of an ill-attended run on our well-trodden territory (where were we?) and more practical advice and inappropriate humour from Dini Pipalini... <click here>.

2 comments:

5th grade grammar teacher said...

Are the additional line breaks in that Kiwi joke there for dramatic pause, or because the web wanker couldn't be arsed taking the page break out?

Walter said...

Since this entire section was lifted from the Burnie trash I dared not change the line breaks as that was how Dini did it! She is moore literite thin mee.

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