Devonport Hash House Harriers

November 11, 2008

CF Run Report

This run was sponsored by Contours, the women’s gym in Devonport. Dressed up as doctors and nurses we made our way to the Ulverstone ambulance station where ComeAgain measured our vitals. This was not all, we were made to drink hospital strength sustagen before being released. Next stop was at the amphitheatre for a TUC/TUB examination by a dandy looking Highbeam dressed up as nurse. For those not in the know, a TUC Examination is a Totally Unnecessary Chest examination, guess the B for TUB. Before being molested we had to run around the amphitheatre whilst breathing through a straw.

Crow provided the meal free of charge and all monies paid and raised in the raffle went to CF Tasmania! More then $400 was raised!

Dyke was the first to win a scratchy lottery ticket he won in the raffle. He is still looking for Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy required to claim!

GoneAgain and Thrust showed the Coughing the Distance documentary in which they starred. To donate money to CF Tasmania go to www.cftas.org.au or call 1800 232 823. Photos are being processed at the pharmacy...

November 8, 2008

HOFT on 16 NOVEMBER

The HOFT walk will now be from Leven Canyon to Gunns Plains – It will be a solid walk of approx 8 – 9 hours – and we will be leaving the Ulverstone McDonalds carpark at 8.00am on Sunday 16th. If anyone is interested in joining the walk please contact Flasher .

Details of the walk <here>.

November 7, 2008

Disaster Strikes at the Valhella Moose Farm

OMG, the boat fell down. Good thing it was made indestructable by Dini and Co, just a shame the suspending ropes were not as tough. Fortunately there was no iceberg nigh and no injuries were sustained. Note a bed in the Valhella dining room! Looks like we might have a visitor! There is a rumour going that a Lark Whiskey tasting might coincide with a run in January, and this bed might come in handy for a dozen of us...

November 4, 2008

CF Run at Oz Rock Inn

That's right, we are being subjected to doctors and nurses for a Cystic Fibrosis Run at Crow and 1080's renowned OzRock Inn Restaurant in Ulverstone (Beach Road).

Monday 10 November 630pm. till late.

Wear clean undies and socks, bring your medicare card, proof of private medical insurance, a note from your mum and a signed disclaimer - no need to fast. The Coughing the Distance Documentary will be screened after dinner complete with a quick RAFFLE!

All monies raised will go to CF Tasmania!

All corro to GoneAgain AT dhash DOT com.

OnOn

Maggies Ordeal

7.3 Kilometers in 58 minutes made for a nice sized flat (20m max) run. Complete with thistles and cow turds, swans and new hashers the run was followed by a sparse amount of beers and resulting poofta sized down downs. We must be having a drought. Nice Barbie thanks to Maggie and HandJob. A warm welcome to our new NW Coast residents (Port Sorrel) from Queensland, Boner and LoveMuscle. No pictures today.

OFFICE BEARERS

Grandmaster – Flasher Joint masters – Tracka & Tinsel Hash hops – Cheese Hash lip – Gyno Lower lip – Crow Hash cash – Bald Eagle Hash monk – Killer Rig raffle – Crow Hash Flash – Rumpole Hash web – Gone again On sec – Shagadelic Trailmasters – Maggie, Flasher Who needs a Hash Monk, haven't had one for years and the sun still shines...

And incidentally,....

1. HASH HOPS: This is unquestionably the most important position in the hash. The Beermeister has the weighty responsibility of making sure that the lifeblood of hashing is available at each and every hash event. He keeps constant vigilance to find the cheapest spirituous fermenti available, always has coolers in the trunk of his car, cases of beer in his garage, and reliably returns the empty keg to get another full one for the next hash. While this might be a "pain in the ass" job, it's undoubtedly the most important one to the hash.

2. GRAND MASTER: The head hasher. The chairman of the board. The big cheese. The HMFIC. The guiding light. Gispert's legacy. The GM is not simply a figure head for the hash, rather (s)he personifies the hash's character (or lack thereof.) (S)he leads with a dynamic strength that permeates the fabric of the organization. Both directly, and through the hash officers, (s)he gives inspiration, direction, and vision to all. This position ranks only below Beermeister, Hash Cash, Hash Mouth, Hash Flash, and On-Sec in real importance to the hash.

3. HASH HAWKER or HABERDASHER: This is a person who has a flair for fashion, a head for business (who said head?), and the showmanship of P.T. Barnum. (S)he's responsible for the design, procurement, warehousing, merchandising, and vending of items of apparel and various trinkets to the hash. Prior flea market or circus midway experience preferred.

4. HARE RAISER: The Hare Raiser makes sure that there's a hare (or hares) for each hash, and that the start location is known to the On-Sec well in advance of hash day for publicity purposes. The Hare Raiser IS the hare if (s)he can't find anyone else to do it.

5. HASH CASH: The holder of the purse-strings. Someone needs to dash about the start of each hash begging for money. Someone has to keep track of what comes in and what goes out (commonly referred to as "the old in and out.") These generally unappreciated duties fall on the shoulders of the Hash Cash. This trustworthy soul must withstand the whining of the Hares who have overspent, the whimpering of those who forgot their fees, and the interrogations of those who mistakenly think there should be some sort of accounting for hash funds.

6. HASH FLASH: The person who captures for posterity all embarrassing hash moments on film. The hash flash must have an acute sense of the absurd to know what to take photos of, and also a small degree of reliability to bring a camera, film, take pictures, have them developed and put only the finest thereof into the sacred photo album.

7. HASH HARLOT: A trashy wench who has seen the dark side of hashing... and likes it! One with a lust for life who, revels in being the butt of the jester's ribald wit, the object of the songster's bawdy lyric, and the centrepiece of sensual repartee at all hash functions.

8. TRAIL MASTER or HASH HORN: Equipment requirements: A bugle or other appropriate wind instrument. Performance venue: The hash trail. Musical ability: Optional.

9. LIP : The hash mouth runs the official business at the On-On with an iron hand. (S)he must be loud, clear, passionate, articulate, humorous and possess an uncommon ability to think on his feet. It also helps if (s)he speaks English.

10. HASHIT KEEPER: This is arguably the most complicated position within the hash hierarchy. The responsibility surrounds custody of a large cardboard box (or entire house) filled with the flotsam and jetsam of past hashes. Precisely why this crap is retained is a mystery shrouded in the mythology of hashdom. However, the hashit itself rarely makes it to the hash, although the custodian is usually there himself. This reinforces the argument that remembering to bring the hashit is probably beyond the cognitive ability of your average hasher.

11. ON-SEC: This position is the masochist's dream. (S)he struggles with piles of paper, miles of computer wire, and might attempt to occasionally produce a Hound Directory or Hash Trash to keep the hash members somewhat informed. (S)he is the principal "outside" representative maintaining the Harrier.Net Worldwide WebSite, the hash membership data base. Boring stuff to say the least.

12. RELIGIOUS ADVISOR: Keeper of the faith. Enforcer of the scriptures. This is the hasher who has seen the light (Bud light) and can taste in his soul the true spirit of Hashing. The religious advisor spreads the word and inspires the zest and zeal of the hash in all participants. Any hasher found transgressing the spirit of hashing is disciplined by the RA. (S)e is the keeper of the sacred Laws of Hashing and comes up with sufficiently plausible lies to cover any serious questions of propriety of actions within the hash.

13. SONGMEISTER: This is a hasher with no self-respect. (S)he never lacks for a song suitable to the occasion. His songs are risqué, lewd, and vulgar. The Songmeister speaks with other hashers and hashes to acquire songs to add to the hash hymnal. The mission is to explore new tunes and new celebrations. To boldly go where no Songmeister has gone before (pardon the split infinitive.)