Devonport Hash House Harriers: March 2013

March 28, 2013

April Fools Easter Run

We all survived Dint's Smith & Others Road Run, even Thrust managed to find the cars back eventually (not thanks to us looking for her, beeping horns and shining car lights into the dark forest). Calendar Girl's self-cleaning coat was put the test with lots of mud, and Fanny May represented the Harriettes for the evening. 'Koff was devastated her meat had pulverised due to us coming in a little late, Takka's raffle went off with a slight hitch, prized prices were burned with plastic cups and all, and we all got our fair share of carcinogenic smoke and brain conditioning (by killing the weakest brain cells).

Full moon Hash was run from Otto's Grotto in Ulverstone on Wednesday without so much as a moon.

April Fool's run is from Fanny May's at 10 James Street on April 1. Be prepared to get wet on the run - nude or in swim-gear ideal but umbrellas and raincoats will do. Easter eggs will be supplied.

March 25, 2013

Dhash on StalkBook

For all those StalkBookers out there, do make sure you like www.facebook.com/devonporthash and get important information about the Devonport Hash House Harriers. Information like the next Full Moon Hash in Ulverstone for instance!

March 19, 2013

Smith and Others

Another nice Kelcey Tier run, this time set by Lantern and his army. Ample food afterwards, enough to feed us all twice and Cheese's dog for 24-48 hours also. GoneAgain made sure he took no short cuts and arrived half an hour after everyone else. A worried FannyMay filled a bucket with food for GA so he wouldn't miss out on the grub. When GA arrived FM, not Cheese, went "Wherdafaark've you been, I've been worried SICK!".

Next run is our last Daylight Saving run, set by Dint in the plantation pines at Smith and Others Road, 11 minutes down the Bass Highway past the hospital roundabout if you drive like Dint or 9 minutes at the speed-limit according to Google Maps.

PS Check this Kelcey Tier Map out [click]

March 15, 2013

Lantern

Lantern giving birth

Darnit that week went fast.

We had a good run in Sheffield deranged by Triple Top with her freshly
shaven noggin. Thrust had something to do with the run too, which
explained why even the SCB's ran 7kms. Plenty of grub for the FRB's
and some beer to boot.

Next run, Monday 18 March 630pm from Lantern's place; 168 (?) Stoney Rise
Road, Devonport (click link to see on map).

March 4, 2013

TripleTop's BaldOnTop run

You may have already heard, but you may not have donated yet... our very own Triple Top is shaving her head for Leukaemia next Sunday! And the day after (Monday 11 March), with barely a stubble on top she will set a run for us from her home opposite the Sheffield Tourist Centre loos on Pioneer Crescent.

Now kindly make a handsome donation so that TripleTop feels encouraged to shave all the extra bits of fluff: <donate now>.

But really you came to this fabulous website to read the run report on Dyke's Mega Run. Well, I showed up 10 minutes late with my pocket dog Calendar Girl and had a hard time keeping up with the runners. I ran about 12kms through Kelcey Tier and surrounding district and never caught up with the pack. On returning to the OnOn I found a sizeable pack digging into the grub. Grub was good and drinks well deserved for all brave Hashers who gave it a go. I got a down down for getting lost....

GA

March 1, 2013

Dyke's Date

Don't forget this Monday coming (4 March) we're running from Dyke's abode, fringing Kelcey Tier, 2/64 Tugrah Rd, Devonport!
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OFFICE BEARERS

Grandmaster – Flasher Joint masters – Tracka & Tinsel Hash hops – Cheese Hash lip – Gyno Lower lip – Crow Hash cash – Bald Eagle Hash monk – Killer Rig raffle – Crow Hash Flash – Rumpole Hash web – Gone again On sec – Shagadelic Trailmasters – Maggie, Flasher Who needs a Hash Monk, haven't had one for years and the sun still shines...

And incidentally,....

1. HASH HOPS: This is unquestionably the most important position in the hash. The Beermeister has the weighty responsibility of making sure that the lifeblood of hashing is available at each and every hash event. He keeps constant vigilance to find the cheapest spirituous fermenti available, always has coolers in the trunk of his car, cases of beer in his garage, and reliably returns the empty keg to get another full one for the next hash. While this might be a "pain in the ass" job, it's undoubtedly the most important one to the hash.

2. GRAND MASTER: The head hasher. The chairman of the board. The big cheese. The HMFIC. The guiding light. Gispert's legacy. The GM is not simply a figure head for the hash, rather (s)he personifies the hash's character (or lack thereof.) (S)he leads with a dynamic strength that permeates the fabric of the organization. Both directly, and through the hash officers, (s)he gives inspiration, direction, and vision to all. This position ranks only below Beermeister, Hash Cash, Hash Mouth, Hash Flash, and On-Sec in real importance to the hash.

3. HASH HAWKER or HABERDASHER: This is a person who has a flair for fashion, a head for business (who said head?), and the showmanship of P.T. Barnum. (S)he's responsible for the design, procurement, warehousing, merchandising, and vending of items of apparel and various trinkets to the hash. Prior flea market or circus midway experience preferred.

4. HARE RAISER: The Hare Raiser makes sure that there's a hare (or hares) for each hash, and that the start location is known to the On-Sec well in advance of hash day for publicity purposes. The Hare Raiser IS the hare if (s)he can't find anyone else to do it.

5. HASH CASH: The holder of the purse-strings. Someone needs to dash about the start of each hash begging for money. Someone has to keep track of what comes in and what goes out (commonly referred to as "the old in and out.") These generally unappreciated duties fall on the shoulders of the Hash Cash. This trustworthy soul must withstand the whining of the Hares who have overspent, the whimpering of those who forgot their fees, and the interrogations of those who mistakenly think there should be some sort of accounting for hash funds.

6. HASH FLASH: The person who captures for posterity all embarrassing hash moments on film. The hash flash must have an acute sense of the absurd to know what to take photos of, and also a small degree of reliability to bring a camera, film, take pictures, have them developed and put only the finest thereof into the sacred photo album.

7. HASH HARLOT: A trashy wench who has seen the dark side of hashing... and likes it! One with a lust for life who, revels in being the butt of the jester's ribald wit, the object of the songster's bawdy lyric, and the centrepiece of sensual repartee at all hash functions.

8. TRAIL MASTER or HASH HORN: Equipment requirements: A bugle or other appropriate wind instrument. Performance venue: The hash trail. Musical ability: Optional.

9. LIP : The hash mouth runs the official business at the On-On with an iron hand. (S)he must be loud, clear, passionate, articulate, humorous and possess an uncommon ability to think on his feet. It also helps if (s)he speaks English.

10. HASHIT KEEPER: This is arguably the most complicated position within the hash hierarchy. The responsibility surrounds custody of a large cardboard box (or entire house) filled with the flotsam and jetsam of past hashes. Precisely why this crap is retained is a mystery shrouded in the mythology of hashdom. However, the hashit itself rarely makes it to the hash, although the custodian is usually there himself. This reinforces the argument that remembering to bring the hashit is probably beyond the cognitive ability of your average hasher.

11. ON-SEC: This position is the masochist's dream. (S)he struggles with piles of paper, miles of computer wire, and might attempt to occasionally produce a Hound Directory or Hash Trash to keep the hash members somewhat informed. (S)he is the principal "outside" representative maintaining the Harrier.Net Worldwide WebSite, the hash membership data base. Boring stuff to say the least.

12. RELIGIOUS ADVISOR: Keeper of the faith. Enforcer of the scriptures. This is the hasher who has seen the light (Bud light) and can taste in his soul the true spirit of Hashing. The religious advisor spreads the word and inspires the zest and zeal of the hash in all participants. Any hasher found transgressing the spirit of hashing is disciplined by the RA. (S)e is the keeper of the sacred Laws of Hashing and comes up with sufficiently plausible lies to cover any serious questions of propriety of actions within the hash.

13. SONGMEISTER: This is a hasher with no self-respect. (S)he never lacks for a song suitable to the occasion. His songs are risqué, lewd, and vulgar. The Songmeister speaks with other hashers and hashes to acquire songs to add to the hash hymnal. The mission is to explore new tunes and new celebrations. To boldly go where no Songmeister has gone before (pardon the split infinitive.)